Confirmed m/c, what to do about outing? (it's long)?

Question

Ok so I went to hospital yesterday as I couldn't handle the pain the cramps and clotting were severe and I just couldn't handle them any longer so went to hospital for some relief, well I wasn't expecting them to do bloodwork etc and yep HCG level was 6 so yep that would explain everything, why I had all the signs etc but over the last day my signs dissappeared, because the HCG levels were dropping, Doc said they probably be gone by tomorrow, go back next week for another test to be sure they are gone. something in me tells me the HCG has gone now. (I didn't even know for sureI was pg - suspected it with all signs and temps etc and faint HPT's).

Anyway I came home, hubby woke up (night shift) and I told him etc, then he told me it'll be alright we'll go out with friends tomorrow (Sunday - now today) but one of those friends is 6 months pg, we conceived around the same week but mine ended in chemical pg( I should be 6 mths now too) but we went away on a camping trip and even though she knew what I was going through, she kept bragging about being pg every 5 minutes (at 6 wks pg at the time) like Oh I am Pregnant and tired etc etc (EVERY 5 minutes no joke), so now she's further along and knows what the baby's gender is etc she's going to be worse now, so what do I do? I didn't handle it well during the camping trip trying to put on a brave face and be happy for them ( I am happy for her and I understand she has every right to be happy about and talk about it), but I just don't think I can put on the brave face anymore, I completely broke down yesterday when hubby told me of outing and he was shocked as he thought I would handle it better (considering all previous m/c's) like huh? it makes it harder not easier. and he has never seen me so upset before. What would you do? would you go or get out of it somehow? I love my friend more then anything and I am happy for them, but just can't help but be depressed about losing another pg.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry about your MC. I can't say that completely understand or have the best advice for your situation.  However, I do wish you the best and I personally would give myself sometime to adjust back into the social scence, slowly.  I am the last one without kids in my group-and in my husband's circle of friends, too.  Most of them are on their 3rd round.  Try to give your self some time to heal and not let every other pregnant girl or babyshower get you down.  

Also, try not to be to upset with the hubby he probly doesn't realize how its affecting you.  Talk to him... I don't know him, but he'll probly have great advice and will want to help make an unexpected trip the same week.   ;) Best wishes!!  

Answer 2

Oh no hun, I am SO sorry to hear about this!!!!  If I was in your position, I would NOT go, and I would be honest as to why.  I would tell them your situation and that you are not up to being on your feet or have the energy for an outing.  You can politely decline, if you don't want to tell them why.  If she is TRULY your friend, she will be very understanding, and what I've read about your hubby in previous posts, he sounds like a very caring and understanding guy who wouldn't want you to do something your not comfortable or ready for.  Just because you have had multiple mc's (I know how many), in my mind that would only make it that much harder.  It's not something you just get used to or "cope" with.  I wish you all the best and please just take it easy and get yourself better, stop trying to please everyone else.  

Answer 3

im so so sorry to hear your news kristy i was so hoping fingers crossed for you and hubby and yep i was thinking today that i should have been like 24 weeks this weekend if i hadnt lost the first  and if i was you i would have told hubby you just wernt up to going out and socializing anyway wether your friend is pregnant or not you just need some at home family time and a little comfort from the other half theres not alot to say so i will just send you a huge big mother *** hug and hope you catch it to get through the next few weeks till fingers x again if it helps to vent some disappoint ,anger or saddness email me hun take care xx

Answer 4

Oh, honey. I'm so about your loss, especially on top of what you've already been through. Of course you feel depressed, and of course you don't want to go. I think your first priority should be taking care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. Stay in and get some rest, and let yourself feel bad--or whatever you want to feel. I don't think you should go out with anyone, much less someone who makes you feel bad, whether intentional or not.

I'm sorry your husband doesn't quite get it--I know that makes it harder. Try to explain things to him, and if he tells you that you should feel differently (mine sometimes does that), just gently explain that you feel the way you feel and it would be more helpful if he was just comforting.

Be good to yourself, and take care. All best wishes.

Answer 5

I say don't go. Right now you do not need the stress of being around happy pregnant person. You're right! She does have the right to be happy but you also have the right not to be miserable. TAke some time and deal with the loss, no one who loves you will blame you for missing out.