Conflict, Anger and resistance?

Question

it all started with anger and rage at a violent, controlling boyfriend.

He started demanding that I "LET GO" of my anger and be happy and normal, even getting violent that I couldnt let go of the anger and depression that followed.

this created a deep split in me that I didnt realize I would be battling with for years.

One part of me wanted to let go

but another part refused, because I don't like complying or giving in to anyone that is controlling.

the anger is causing pain, but the other part wont let go of it because it feels like it will be complying or giving up its freedom.

Can anyone see a solution to this conflict ?

Answer 1

A ship at sea for many years picks up thousands of barnacles that attach themselves to the bottom of the ship and eventually weigh it down, becoming a threat to its safety. Such a ship ultimately needs its barnacles removed, and the least expensive and easiest way is for the ship to harbor in a freshwater port, free of salt water. Soon the barnacles become loose on their own and fall off. The ship is then able to return to sea, relieved of its burden. You are carrying around barnacles in the form of mistakes, regrets, and pain from the past. Perhaps you need to allow yourself to soak in fresh water for a while.

Answer 2

There is healthy and unhealthy anger and your anger has become unhealthy.  Try reading "Anger how to Live with and without it" by Dr. Albert Ellis PhD.

$.05 please.

Answer 3

If you resist it will persist.  Most people carry around a large amount of unnecessary baggage, both mental and emotional, throughout their lives.  They limit themselves through regret, hostility and guilt.  Their emotional thinking has become their self, and so they hang on to the old emotion because it strengthens their identity.    We can learn not to keep situations or events live in our minds, instead try to return to the pristine, timeless present moment rather than be caught in the mental movie making.  Our present then becomes our identity rather than thoughts and emotions.