Conflict of Interests at work! Help?

Question

Okay, I have worked 5 summers at a pool, moving up through the ranks and ending in a Head Lifeguard position. My dad is also on the Board of the Directors that manager this pool. There is another Head Guard, and his dad is on the Board too. I had an incident at the pool where I lost my temper. I all ready know it was wrong, and expected to lose my job for it. My dad pulled NO strings for me to keep it. I took the appropriate action in apologizing to all management and Board of Directors. The other Head Guard told his dad what I did, and HIS dad (who should not be meddling with personnel issues because his son works there, same as my dad cannot intervene with me) went to mine, telllling my dad all the things I said. The problem, is that half the things he told his dad are not true. Now because of all this I never want to go to work. When I see this person I want to scream at them because they involved someone who should not have been, plus lied about some things. I'm trying to move on and just let things lie as they will, but everytime someone mentions the incident, I get depressed, and then angry for thinking how much things got messed up, just because my colleague involved his dad (again, that should not have happened.) I've admitted I was wrong, done everything to make amends. I did not lose my job, but now...it's not the same. Any advice?

Answer 1

We all make mistakes. The trick is to learn from them. Hold your head up, don't let it get to you, and let the other person suck eggs. Show him that you are better than him becuase you are .

Answer 2

You can't control your colleague or what he will do.  All you can do is to be assertive and look after yourself, and then be at peace with things that you cannot control.  

People say stupid and hurtful things for their own reasons.  You can't control them and you can't necessarily change the effect that these people might have.  You can tell your side but if people don't believe you, or if you can't tell your side to everyone who has heard his version, then there is nothing you can do about this.

Maybe writing a letter to your colleague and his dad might help you to feel that you have put your side of the story, but at the end of the day you need to accept the fact that other people will sometimes do hurtful things that you cannot control.

Answer 3

Loosing your temper at work, could happen to anybody.  Apologizing, like you did was the right action to take, I applaud you for that.  Working in an environment where family members work, can be kinda tricky.  You did nothing wrong and is very common for you to feel this way towards that other person.  But, there is something you could do, if you're up to it.  In my opinion, you have to speak with that other person and make him/her know how his/her action affected you in your daily job performance, apologize once again for your actions and forgive him/her.  The more you think about it, the heavier the burden will get, pretty soon....you'll be hatting that other person.  Good luck.

Answer 4

Some people will really do all they can to push buttons to provoke you. I was in the insurance industry for 12 years and this woman was talking down to me on the phone and was being purposefully annoying and english was not her first language but we will not go there.

I screamed at her to leave me the h**l alone and stop nudging me to death and she finally backed off this came on my raise review but I did not care she was mean and nasty and would not back off and that was the ONLY time I ever got in a persons face on the phone. I never heard from her again and believe me it was no love lost.

Learn from the experience do you job mind your own business and forget getting involved in the drama and if you find your self getting pissed off and believe me some people know how to do that very well walk away or get a manager or supervisor if it is with a co-worker make a private appointment and DON"T tell anyone you are doing this and state your case with maturity and integrity.

You got a second chance many people don't Do a good job because that is why you there in the first place no matter WHO works at your job e4g