Conflicting Wedding Dates?

Question

My already married brother has set his wedding date 2 weeks before mine for his own reasons and won't budge. He previously married and now wants a traditional ceremony. We announced our date only to get a call 2 days later stating that theirs was 2 weeks sooner than ours and has the same guest list. Not sure what to do. We worked our date to fit everyone's summer schedule, and now our guests will be attending two weddings within 2 weeks. I don't feel its fair to my fiance and I to make a new date after we announced to half our guests, and its not fair for me to ask him to move his date. I don't think any of the guests would like traveling all over the country twice in one month. Who gets priority? What should we do?

Answer 1

Your brother sounds like a real A-hole. His ceremony does not get priority as he is already married. Yours does as it is the first wedding, and it sounds like you even came up with the date first. You need to tell him to move his date. That's just ridiculous.

Since your guest list is in common, I would call on my friends and family to put pressure on him. Have everyone contact him and tell him "No, we can't come - because we will be attending (your) ceremony two weeks later as it is a 'first' marriage. Obviously we can't travel twice in a month, and we can't stay there for the two weeks between the services. But we will be happy to send you a gift, and hope to see you and congratulate you on your re-commitment when we see you at (your) ceremony."

If enough people do this, he will have to change the date. Sometimes you just gotta use your family and friends to put pressure on the person in the wrong. Make sure they call it a "re-commitment" - that'll really get him.

Good luck.

Answer 2

i am sorry your brother sucks. My future sister -in law and i told each other our date and realized they were one week apart and 3000 miles apart we talked it and worked out the situation. If i were your family member i would go to your wedding and not his renewal. You can be the bigger person and change your date. If you do though please send him an okay gift not the best gift on his registry. Wait is the only reason he having this big deal is for gifts or is it so it will land on his anniversary? If it is because it is his anniversay i am sorry he may not budge.

Answer 3

hey i was also going to say that you should ask your brother if he respects you enough to let you have your own wonderful wedding and not be stubborn about it if he really cares.

hey i was just wondering since you're getting married, if you could just answer my question too; its about love.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 4

You get priority.  Simply because yours IS a wedding.  His is a do-over.  I wouldn't worry about the family having to choose between one or the other.  He HAD a wedding and is now having another one?  I don't think many people will be rushing to attend.  I would keep your date and not worry about it.

Answer 5

Your brother sounds like a real winner.  What he is doing is really unfair.  He is already married so what is the rush.  It sounds like he is jealous and trying to compete with you.  He is trying to steal your thunder.  It sounds like you announced your date first.  You know, I would not change your wedding date.  This is not your problem.  Have your wedding and who ever makes it makes it.  Maybe you should right off your brother and not invite him to your wedding and I wouldn't go to his.  He should move the date.  What is his rush?

Answer 6

thats so messed up just tel him exactly what you just said and that its not fair, and ask him why he doesnt want to move it and say what exactly is your "personal reasons". Then go tell ur mom so h**l get in trouble...

Answer 7

If you've spoken to him, and he seriously won't budge thats a tough one.

Something you could try would be to write to Dear Abby.  I know I'm not answering your question out right, but this sounds like questions she answers all the time.

I would try to speak with your brother once again.  See if he will move his date.