Confront baby daddy or not?

Question

I am a 21 year old mother currently engaged in a relationship. I have a two year old daughter named Alliyssa. Who has never had a father figure in her life. Because right after she was born, her father decided he didnt want a baby and he was going to leave her behind. SO i was sitting there at the bus stop homeless and only 20 dollars in my pocket. While hold ing a 2 week old baby. Moral of the story is, I just recently saw the father of my child at the clothes store with another woman pregnant. Even though it's 3 years later, I know what he looks like. The question is, should I confront him and make him pay child support (which I know he wont) and tell that (teenager) (he's 22) what she's getting herself into?

Answer 1

well you should definatley get a court order for child support.  Your daughter deserves to be taken care of financially by both parents.  and its his responsiblity to do so, whether he likes it or not.  as for telling the other girl, whats the point really.  shes already made the mistake of getting pregnant by him, so she'll find out how he is soon enough.

Answer 2

The only way you can make him pay for his daughter is if you took him to court, which you should do.

About the girl, I agree with everyone else, you can tell her but I doubt she'll listen to you.

Answer 3

That is so messed up, sweetie I'm sorry you had to go through a hard time like that. Personally, I wouldn't confront the other women, I actually would confront the father - file for child support. No women should be treated like that after having a baby.... Congrats on your engagement .  

Answer 4

What do you mean he won't pay child support? LOL, girl HE HAS TOO. He's legally obligated too pay, and if he doesn't SUE HIM, you will surely win and you will also have the satisfaction of taking all his money.

Good payback don't you think?  

Answer 5

Do both! The woman has the right to know what shes getting herself into, and you saw her with him for a reason, that was no accident. God wants you to tell her. Its fair. Think about it this way: would you have wanted to know if it were you, three years ago? Wouldnt you have wanted to know what he did to another woman? U should put yourself in her shoes, and do what you think is right.

Answer 6

I would tell her for sure and I would also file for child support through the state, it is not right that he is out there making babies left and right when he isn't even taking care of the ones he currently has.  

Answer 7

Hi,

I would say avoid the confrontation...........Really, at this point why bother?

And yes to go after child support, which I believe is a legal issue and not up to him to chose whether he pays or not.

Skip telling that gal what she is in for.

She will learn her lessons just as you did.

Best of Luck to You!

Answer 8

If you want child support, get it through the court system.

Butt out of his current relationship. Its none of your business.

Answer 9

Dont bother with the other woman, if you go to court she could claim youre harassing her. You should take him to court. Think about it, youll be taking care of HIS (and your) child for 18 years financially, why shouldnt he have to pay? If you take him to court the money will be automatically deducted from his paycheck. He wont even see it before its removed :)

Answer 10

If you don't take him to court for child support now, you could be out of luck when the current baby is born if the other girl files before you do.

IF your claim for child support is filed first, that means that if there's ever a time where he's making money, YOU and YOUR KID will get the money first, and whatever is left over will go to the other children.

Get to court.  It won't matter that you're poor - that "man" deserves to pay for that child, and the state should be able to help you.

It's not about your current relationship - I'm sure everyone here wishes you the best of luck with your current guy - it's about getting what you're owed for the next 16 years, with (ideally) back child support for the first 2 years he missed.

I wish you all the best - file FAST!!! :)

Answer 11

TELL HIM. Tell the girlfriend to. Try to say something like " you going to run off on this poor baby just like you did to mine ". Try not to make enemies with the girlfriend she could encourage him to be a father.

Answer 12

What a scum bag! Tell her, you don't want her to be in your situation. And she SHOULD pay child support.

Answer 13

Rather than confronting him, you should go to your local family court and file for child support.  Confronting him will not get you any money, it is going to take court action so you might as well bypass the confrontation because it will likely just be an ugly scene.

If you want to warn her, you can do so.  She will not believe you, though-not until it happens to her.  It is unfortunate, but more than likely that is what it is going to take and really-she can not do anything about it now.

LOL @ "Even though it's 3 years later, I know what he looks like."  That just struck me as amusing.  I am glad to hear it, though.

Answer 14

Just go straight to the court system. It doesn't matter if he wants to pay or not, they will make him or he loses his license and goes to jail. You can confront him in court, it's better that way. don't let him off that easy! make his a** pay!

Answer 15

Why did you not file for child support?  This deadbeat needs to be ponying up to help you out with expenses.  Go file through your local courts, and he'll either pay up or go to jail.

As far as confronting his new gf, I'm not sure.  I would probably just casually tell her that he has a 3 year old that he has never supported at all.  She should know what kind of mess she's gotten herself into.  

Answer 16

yea

Answer 17

If you know he isn't going to pay child support then I wouldn't even waste my breathe talking to him.  As for the girl, I am sure she wouldn't listen to you, she would probably tell you he is different and he "loves me".  The best of luck to you and your kids!

Answer 18

oh my god, you should definatly confront him. he dosn't deverve to be in any type of a relation ship if he's going to run out on people like that. WHAT A JERK!!!!!

Answer 19

he will pay child support...or go to jail.

let that chick figure it out for herself, girls dont listen...especially when its their mans ex telling them whats up  

Answer 20

why?

do you need the money?

IF YOU DON'T NEED THE MONEY, DON'T DEAL WITH HIS DUMBASS. HE'LL SEE THAT HE WAS AN IDIOT WHEN HE GETS OLDER AND YOU'RE CHILD STARTS TO HATE HIM

anyway, confronting him makes you look desperate and dependent

Answer 21

i would tell the teen what she is doing

mind you us teens never listen tho but i would try my hardest

and i wouldnt even go near the father of your guys baby

Answer 22

first off take him to court on the child support situation and you need to tell that young lady what shes getting into.

Answer 23

I would go after him for child support, even though you say he wont pay it the courts will make him and will put him in jail if he does not, he needs to pay for his child one way or another and i would also tell her what shes getting into she prob, wont listen i know, iv been there, the father if my daughter left me when i was 8 months pregnant for another girl and she is due with his kid in a week and her left her for someone else i told her what was going to happen but she did not listen, and now she knows how i feel but do what you think in your heart is right good luck