Confused and questionning myself....?

Question

Been living with my actual boyfriend for more than 4 years now, he is divorced with a bitchy ex-wife and a daughter he does not see. He has lots of anger management issues and I'm getting fed up with it. Our 10 year difference does not help.

Over the last 6 months, the authorities in the country I live are asking us to get married (I'm canadian) or else I can leave the country. I don't want to get married for the wrong reasons, my boyfriend does not want to remarry at all... I got to the point of accepting this bloody wedding idea... until, out of the blue, I met somebody... over Internet, on a book-discussion site...

I know this sure seems nuts but I fell in love at first "write" and him too. We talk everyday on the phone, we write each other everyday. I sure would like some of your opinions on what's going on with me right now. ;)

Answer 1

It looks like the issue of anger management with your current boyfriend is affecting you a lot.  Have you spoken to him about it?  I presume you have and nothing has changed, and hence you met this other guy who you fell in love with.

I say that life is too short to be wasting your time with the wrong guy.  Just go out there and enjoy your life.  You might want to wait a while before starting your new life with this guy, but you don't have to stay with your boyfriend just for the sake of it.

I wish you all the luck!

Answer 2

You need to stop the writing other guy now.

Secondly, you need to remove yourself freely from that relationship you are in

Thirdly, you will need 2 years of you time, before you can start dating or being friends wtih any man.

Otherwise you will run over to the NEW GUY, just coz he will help you get out of where you are now, and coz he is the NEW GUY

and after a few months, a few years the same thing will happen with him

Answer 3

leave the boyfriend you're living with at the moment as you obviously don't love him anymore, and definitely don't jump straight into a new relationship! you are are seeing this new guy through rose tinted glasses as you see him as your way out of the situation you are in right now-your new relationship sounds way to intensive,writing everyday etc etc,only needy control freak men do stuff like that....seriously! you will be out of the frying pan and into the fire!!

IF ITS MEANT TO BE WITH THE NEW GUY JUST GIVE IT TIME-WHAT WILL BE WILL BE...

Answer 4

Sounds like you were looking for an out anyway and it came in the form of an internet buddy. Would've been someone else eventually. Better NOT to marry someone simply to stay there if thats your only option. Canada HAS to be better'n living in h**l, which is what you will be doing marrying someone you don't really want. There's a reason he is divorced. Better you find that out before you get involved in someone else's misery.

Answer 5

Don't get married for the wrong reason...you are smart, thats good

Your relationship with your boyfriend is over - you fell in love with someone else

Don't jump from one thing to another.  Move back to where you are from and continue to get to know this new guy

4 years is a long time to be with someone who doesn't want you as a wife...is that ok with you?

Answer 6

I think you should definitely dump your current boyfriend.  He's obviously not a keeper if he doesn't even see his child.  Go on and pursue this new love interest, but make sure since you haven't met him in person that you two date in public for a bit before you are alone with him (just to be safe).  Dump the old, date the new!

Answer 7

What is there to say, your boyfriend wasn't meeting your needs so you turned to the internet and found a connection with someone else.  Is it wrong that you did that, perhaps to the extent that I think you owe it to your significant other to be honest about your problems and trying to fix them (ie not going behind his back).  If your current relationship isn't working out and you have gotten to the point where he won't change and you can't accept the behavior, leave & then go find someone else.

Answer 8

first of all, only marry for love! It wont work otherwise. Is staying in a country worth marrying for? You've already said you are in love with another man. Becareful about this other man. You dont really know him so just becareful, get to know him first and dont rush in to anything.

Answer 9

You have answered your own question without realising it.

You do not love your boyfriend - that is clear - time to move on to a new life.

If it involves this 'write' guy - then so be it - but be careful - a simple warning - he may actually be worse than your current boyfriend - you do not know him so take things slow.

Answer 10

men r twats get rid and buy your self a vibrator !!!!!!!

or failing that become a nun, or a L*****n, or buy a chastity belt

Answer 11

You are not in love with the internet guy. Be sure of that!

What´s going on is that you (your heart, your mind) is tired of the actual situation with your boyfriend, and your mind is looking for a wait out of this mess. Be careful to LEAVE your actual boyfriend before getting into a new relationship, otherwise he will find out what are you doing with the other guy, and the "medicine" will be a lot worse than the "illness".

Your mind is doing all the hard work you haven´t done: Leaving your boyfriend because you do not feel happy!!!!!!

Answer 12

maybe you are realizing that this relationship has too many problems?

i don't think you should get married to him, it would be for al the wrong reasons and you would regret it.

you have found someone with the same interests as you and you might be more compatible. you deserve happiness in your life and it looks like you may have found it.

Answer 13

You are looking for someone to lean on to help you leave this guy you are with.  Do not believe everything guys tell you online.  35% of all guys that meet women online are married.  Be very careful.  You can not actually fall in love with someone that can tell you anything you want to hear.  He can hide behind that computer, but when you meet him, and spend time with him, then you will know.

You do need to leave this relationship if he has anger problems.  Go back home, and invite your online friend to visit.  do not meet him alone, however, and before letting him stay at your home, be sure that you know him well.

Best of luck with your problem.