Confusion - was I wrong?

Question

I'm so confused right now! A couple months ago, I was in an abusive relationship with my mother but on the last day of school I did something about it and went to live with my dad. That's all fine, but I decided to tell someone. I decided to tell one of the teachers I had a couple years ago whom I am very close with because I thought I could trust her. THOUGHT is the key word. SHE'S JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS!!! I thought she was different, but she's not; she's there for the showy pettiness, a scraped knee, a B on a test instead of an A, when I just need a hug because I'm feeling sad, but when it's something big, when I need her most, she runs away, and if I can't trust her, who CAN I trust?

I told her and she didn't believe me. She said she couldn't stand up for me and she couldn't do anything about it and she didn't want to know. She said she never saw any signs of abuse and there is no way she can even listen to me when I try to tell her. I kind of get where she's coming from, because this year she's my brother's teacher and she says her priority now is NOT me, not our physical or emotional well-being, but my brother's academic achievement. She says she doesn't want me to tell her anything that may possibly be bad about my mom because she has to have a good relationship with and communicate with my mom. But there's no one else to tell! And if she doesn't believe me, who will? She even had the audacity to suggest that what my mom did wasn't abuse! She said different people have different opinions of right and wrong. Fine, I'll grant you, but here it is: if a serial killer thinks he was right to kill all those people, is his opinion right or even remotely valid? No! What this teacher fails to realize is that a) abuse is abuse; b) abused kids don't always look it; c) when a child asks you for help in a situation like this, don't think twice and just give it; d) if anything is illegal that a parent does to a child, it's abuse. She wouldn't let me tell her, but can she ever condone hair pulling, face slapping, slamming into walls, throwing down stairs, trying to suffocate your child, taking off their clothes so they don't run away? If she can, she's not someone I feel safe around.

I'm so mixed-up! Was I wrong in telling her? I was just trying to help myself, and now I've ruined everything! What can I do to fix things between us?

Answer 1

Teachers are just that..Teachers.. They will act like they are your friend as long as you are in their class. After that they could care less. So if you opened up about stuff at home and now she acts like she doesn't care it's because she is glued to your brother now and not you.

My suggestion to you is that you talk to someone else who is experienced in this area. If you feel like you are abused no matter in what way then call Child Protective Services on her. I know she's your mom and all but nobody deserves to be abused by anyone. Especially the one who gave you life. Some mothers use that reason right there as an excuse to abuse their child and it's not right at all.

I've been in your shoes. I've had my face slammed into cactus plants, been slapped around and all kinds of things and I can tell you as a grown adult now that it carries with you. I know what i went through and therefore my kids are better off because i know what i will never do to them.

Hope this helped and best of luck to you

Answer 2

I am concerned that you   did not  tell your dad instead of a teacher. Also, since you said you went to your dad's on the last day of school why did you wait the entire summer vacation before telling the teacher?In any case, you should go to your dad right now and tell him about your mom and the teacher.  Are you leaving anything out that would explain the inconsistencies? Whatever the situation is I truly believe you are a sad little girl just like the avatar you chose.

Answer 3

Geesh what a horrible story! You put your heart out and it got stomped on. I’m so sorry that you had to go through this. I know from experience that there aren’t too many people that you can trust and it is going to be even harder for you to trust somebody after this experience. Good people are out there so please don’t let this situation make you give up. Good luck.

Answer 4

You did nothing and i mean nothing wrong! you are in the right and that teacher is in the wrong! She became a teacher to help kids and she is not doing that side of responsibility. If what you say is true about the things your mom does to you it is abuse and you made the right choice with living with your dad. What i suggest is see the guidance counselor and talk to her and and she may help. also if your dad is a more stable person i would talk to him and tell him what happen and he should protect you and help you. I would stay away from your mother break all contact with her until she gets help. also i would recommend seeing a therapist she would really help you and can make sure your mother never touches you again. if you need anymore help just e-mail me