Conservative parents are ruining my dreams! HELP?

Question

Yes..i am 19, and still I am being told how to dress (no shorts or tank tops), how to behave (e.g. must sit up straight with head up), when to come back home, when to go to church etc.

I have had a few close ups with some girls, but could never take it to a relationship level for fear of my parents. In the end, it destroys even my friendship with them. I can't even confidently talk to new girls now, becuase of fear of my parents. I also have a brother 11 years younger than me- so whatever I do, I must "not set a bad example"- that means living like an 8 year old. I want my own life. I want my happiness. I am miserable. I have brought it up with my parents that I am not so conservative in my views, then they told me that I would go to h**l if I deviate from their path.

Regarding dating: i can't have any girlfriends, I can't go out with girls without letting my parents know, i can't have s*x before marriage, and I can't stay later than 10 pm with a girl.

I am not an adult even though my biological age says so =(.

Answer 1

*looks at username*

Perform a fatality on them?

*rimshot*

I'll be here all week. :)

Answer 2

Gosh, that is tough.  I an not religious and I don't have kids but I think of myself as a fairly conservative person.  Your parents are off the charts!

Normally I would suggest "talking it out" or talking to your pastor or another adult but given what you've written I suspect (sadly) that you've tried that already and it won't help.  I think your best option is to go away to college.  If they won't support you or won't pay for it, then you can do it on your own with school loans and a job.

They are trying to protect you but they are actually doing you a disservice by not letting you experience things you are supposed to be experiencing at your age (and I'm not talking about s*x ... that can wait).

The best that could happen is that you will get a great opportunity to be independent and become your own man while thinking for yourself and building your future.

The worst that could happen is that they will disown you and berate you and treat you like a villain who has "abandoned the family".  You can hope that being successful and leading an honorable life on your own might one day prove them wrong, but know that they may never accept you.

Personally I would choose freedom over abandonment but you have to weigh the options for yourself.

Answer 3

It's a common problem, parents who won't let their kids grow up.  Talk to them about it.