Considering Adoption. Where do I start?

Question

I come from a large family and have always wanted children. My husband and I have been trying to concieve since our marriage nearly four years ago. We are still trying but I would like to start exploring my options. I don't want to get taken advantage of. Is there a particular agency that any one can recomend? Or advice on how to get started? I'm not looking to have a child tomorrow I just want to be able to save a and prepare for whatever decision my husband and I make. I appreciate any help or advice.

Answer 1

Any reason why you can't be a 'favorite aunt' in your large family?  Surely many might depend on you for temporary child care - which can be really fun and tremendously rewarding.  

You may wish to explore the reasons why you are considering adoption.  Though you say you have always wanted children, have you explored specifically why?  I believe such exploration is invaluable.  After all, we are talking not only about your future but the future of strangers' children in your home.

For many adoptive parents, adoption is fab until the child begins to display his/her own personality, characteristics, etc., and starts to talk (express his/her unique personality & characteristics).  How comfortable are you with this concept?

We are talking about little (soon to be adult) human beings here.  I suggest you scout out online discussion groups with adult adoptees to get some solid insight before making any decisions.

Answer 2

You might consider looking at adoption.com they have a lot of information and you could also read the forum boards you might be able to find an adoption agency that others have used.  You could do a Google search on adoption agencies or even look in your yellow pages for local agencies.  When you finale do adopt you probably want to hire an attorney to make sure all your paper work is in proper order.

There a lot of question to ask before you adopt these are just a few.  

What age are you willing to take.

Does Race or gender matter.

International or Domestic.  

Open adoption or Semi-open adoption or closed adoption.

Best of luck on your journey when and if you decided to adopt know that there is a child perhaps even children out there for you and your husband.

Answer 3

Not to be rude, but, adoption is not a cure or a fix for infertility.  

Bringing in somebody else's child to replace the one you cannot conceive will not make the pain of infertility go away; and the child that you (possibly) adopt WILL pick up on that, believe me.

This is neither fair to you nor is it fair to that child.

You said yourself that you have already tried for four years before you came to the conclusion that you'd start considering adoption; so, biology is therefore quite important to you, isn't it?

So, don't you think biology would be important to that child you are thinking about adopting?

I am an adoptee.  I never asked to be adopted, and I never have appreciated being adopted.  

Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't have "bad" a-parents or a "bad' life, I just don't like the fact that I was taken away from my natural family so that somebody else's dreams could come true.

Children are not gifts to be given away; they are not things that are made to "fix" other people.

Please consider that and find ways to cope with infertility that don't include asking somebody esle for their baby.