Considering a "double" wedding - advice?

Question

Alright, here's the situation, there's lots of details so I'm telling all.

My fiance and I live in Maryland with almost all of my family. We recently moved here from Texas which is where all of his family lives. We are getting married this August at a court house to make it official, but aren't telling ANYONE. We are considering have 2 separate ceremonies, receptions. The reason for this is because my fam wont be able to go to texas and his fam wont be able to come up here to maryland. If we do this, the budget for each wedding will be VERY small.

Now, my family is fairly conservative so I want the wedding here to be small, simple, and formal. BUT, we've considered having our texas wedding actually in Las Vegas. It's a crazy idea (especially for us!) but we've never been and we want our 2nd wedding to be more of a celebration rather that concentrating on formality. Plus his fam and our friends in TX are pretty wild and crazy-or should we forget about Vegas?

Answer 1

Sounds like you have a good idea   two ceremonies to suit two different styles.  One thing though  you can only have one "real" ceremony so you need to decide which one will have the signing of the license to go along with it.  You can recreat but since you are having a different style you can go to Vegas and plan a wedding and decide which will come first.  You only have to tell the Best Man and Maid of Honor which one has the license because they (or someone) must sign as witness.

Answer 2

Two ceremonies? There is no such thing. You can only get one marriage license, and sign it once.

Not to mention it is wrong to lie to your family and friends. No, I dont like this idea at all.

Have one wedding. The family will travel. People do it all the time.

Answer 3

I understand that you want to have two diff. types of ceremonies to keep each families style in mind, HOWEVER, I think both families will be upset if you get married without telling them. I would def. put this all out in the open. And since you are becoming family, I think you could just have one ceremony and blend both families styles in a middle location perhaps, and whoever is closest to you will be there! Good luck!

Maybe you could have the actual ceremony and then a after party celebration in Vegas and invite whoever would like to attend?

Answer 4

I agree it is hard to "choose" one family over the other! In fairness go to a JP, and have a reception in both places.If possible record your small wedding and show it at your receptions. I think Vegas is pushing it. If they can afford to travel have one big wedding. There are so many ways to include everyone. Im pretty sure you knew you could only get one licence, but you can repeat your ceramony and vows daily if you want! It could be a blast!

Answer 5

dont you think it would be more of a hassle for his family to go to las vegas than maryland?  why not just have one ceremony and make it a big blow out

Answer 6

You should do whatever you think is best for your family situation and budget. There's no rule against having two ceremonies - the first one will legally marry you, the second one will mostly be for show. Many people have a civil ceremony (at the courthouse) and then have a church ceremony sometime later.

Do keep in mind the convenience of your guests - make sure everyone knows that no one is required to attend both, and that you certainly do not expect more than one gift from anyone.

I do think it's a little sad that your two families won't be together for your marriage - because a wedding really is about uniting families, not just you and your fiance. But I definitely understand how the distance makes it tricky. You know best what will work for your situation.

Answer 7

I think you folks are more hung up on a wedding than the marriage.  His family wouldn't be able to go to Las Vegas either.  My suggestion is to just get married and have a reception in both Texas and Maryland. That way all the relatives on each side have an excuse to get together.