Considering taking in my younger brother & sister and becoming a foster parent to them, Is this a good idea?

Question

My mother has been in a downward spiral for about 2 years now and she is finally homeless. I am thinking she may have developed some mental illness, because she thinks everything is a conspiracy against her and everyone is out to get her. Anyway, she has ended up homeless and with no vehicle and Social services have taken the twins(boy and girl, both 11) from her and she has already lost custody of her youngest daughter (my sister, age 8) to my dad. But the twins arent his children...long story there...anyway...The twins have been placed in emergency foster care for now, but a social worker is coming by tonight to interview me and my boyfriend to make sure that we want to take them. I am very close with them and I want more than anything to help them out, but I have a 2 bedroom duplex and a 3 year old son. I am also a part-time student pursuing and engineering degree and work fulltime. I am 22 and my bf is 35, he has already done so much for me he let me and my son (he isnt the father, but the father is around) move in with him when my mom lost her house 2 years ago because she wouldnt get a job. She claimed that she wouldnt get a job making $8/ hour. This I dont understand because she has small children to support...

anyway...I am spreading myself too thin to be taking in 2 11 year olds for up to a year, maybe more?? I know i will get aid through the state, but I am worried the children will resent me for not taking them in...

I am worried about the money, and the space(i dont have bedrooms for them) but I am really their only option besides someone they dont know keeping them in foster care...what should I do??

Answer 1

You wouldn't be a foster you would be a temporary guardian for your sister and brother.  They need stability, who takes care of the 3 year old now?  The kids would be going to school it wouldn't be about day care they will be teenagers before you know it and you will have to decide if you can handle 2 kids that old.  Your Mom sounds like she has AZ that is how my Grandmother got before she was diagnosed like there was someone out to get her. If that is the case you will probably have to raise your siblings for the next 7 years (or until they get emancipated at 16 or 17 years old from you). But I think you are doing the right thing foster kids don't always get a good deal and why would you let them be dumped like that? Family sticks with family!

Your path may lie a different direction than you planned, pray and meditate on this before the social worker shows up.. you need to have your head on straight for this new challenge in your life.

Answer 2

absolutely take them - they are your blood and deserve better.  if your bf is ok with it go for it.  you don't know where they will be in foster care there are some good people out there but there are also some who do it just for the money. once they're in the system its hard to get them out.  god will reward you for doing this.  i did this for my cousin and have not regretted it. you are spreading yourself thin but things have a way of working out.  i was going to school and working when he was young. he is now 33 and finished college.  has a good job and helps me a great deal now that i am old.  good luck

Answer 3

I think the biggest question is whether your current boyfriend will mind. If he's okay with it and doesn't mind sharing the responsibility with you, then I think you are perfectly fine. I can't imagine how sad the twins feel under foster care right now. Going back to someone who knows and cares about them can help them A LOT. But it's a very big burden with them in your care. So prepare for the worst, career-wise...

Answer 4

I know you want to help them out but I don't think you could handle the extra burden. Are there any other relatives that they can live with? It's a nice idea but you need to take care of you and your child first.