Constant negativity about physical appearance(how do i defeat it?)

Question

I have a massive problem ladies and gentleman. Get ready for it...it's long.

I am 19 now, and have pretty much totally transformed myself. In high school, i was VERY socially awkward. very bad. And I lived double lives....at soccer 4-5 times a week i was 'the man'. everyone loved me, thought i was outgoing, funny as h**l, etc. In high school i was a complete unconfident loser.

Anyway, enough about that. I am pretty good socially now....better then alot of people i'd say. I just have this problem with constant negativity.

It's nothing mental...it's all physical. I think I'm ugly. I literally obsess over it and that's ALL i think about. Honestly, i have my mental aspect all worked out. i know what i want to do, i know what i need to do to achieve it, etc. Now, i'm working on the physical.

you see, i have a twin brother who looks somewhat similiar to me i guess heh (we are fraternal).....he has girls saying he is hot all the time and ****. Logic should tell me that since he's "hot", that i'm "hot" also. but i dont....i still think i'm ugly like i was in high school (in retrospect, i think i was heheh). I cant remember much from high school (blocked it out) but i remember i used to get many girls in juniour high, but in high school everything changed. I don't know.

I'm constantly scared to have real relationships with people (both male and female) because of a simple fear of getting called ugly. honestly, i stress over it. i know it sound superficial but i don't care.

What CAN i do to get over this? I need to get over this....this is a massive burden it's getting hard to live with this.

Someone please help me.

P.S - it's VERY weird that i think i'm ugly. i'm literally very tall and very muscular. I mean logic is telling me if my brother's good looking, then i must be at least decent. we are twins. Most people say we look like brothers (me older for some reason). i get alot of girls taht come up to me in very superficial situations (bars/clubs) but i am still scared of my past (high school).

Someone...please.

Answer 1

Wow, you sound just like me. Only I could never let go of people calling me "weird" in school. But you have to, you've GOT to get over it.

Who CARES what anyone thinks. Stop being so self-conscious and live your life for you, because the more time you waste the less life you have to live.

And maybe those girls call your twin bro hot because of his personality or the way he treats them? You just never know.

Hot isn't all about the way someone looks.

Carry yourself with confidence and BELIEVE in yourself and things will turn out for the best and you won't constantly question you and your self-worth.

As long as you're taking care of your body and your mind, what does it matter what they think?

You want to be accepted? Well, accept yourself!

Move on, life is too short. You're in the real world now, of adults.

Answer 2

see a doctor and look up body dysmorphic disorder. you can feel better if you get some help with this. please don't suffer another day feeling this way. you are not ugly. you are not seeing yourself as you really are because your thinking is a little skewed. I wish you luck and hope you feel better soon.  

Answer 3

Sounds like, in my opinion, deep down u think ur pretty good lookin:) ur just afraid other people wont. U think being ugly is what made u an outcast in high school. The truth is looks rly rnt all that important. And even if someone did ever say that to you its their problem for being a jerk. Dont worry. Live your life without this stopping you.

Answer 4

We can't help you. You have to convince yourself that you are 'beautiful' both on the inside and outside. This is a self-esteem issue. Note the word 'self' in 'self-esteem.' The only reason you think your ugly is because you choose to. The solution? Choose not to.