Constructive critizism on this poem please?

Question

I feel like there's something off about it, but I can't quite place it. I think it might be the ending (my biggest obstacle is that I have a hard time creating strong endings). Please tell me what I can improve upon, and what you think should stay.

Thanks.

Setting The Standard

I’m setting the standard, Dad,

And there is no curve.

Your life is no longer a too-late

Term paper that you can give up over.

Your life is a young woman,

With the memory of a little

Still in her pink Oshkosh overalls,

Screaming for her hero to come back.

Your life is no longer a class

Where an A can be negotiated.

Your work is long past due,

And you can’t turn it in late.

I can’t be erased off your transcript,

And this isn’t a class you can take over.

Answer 1

add more imagery and deepen it. i think your talking about your father dieing or having elzenheumers disease.... try to add more description so that we know whats going on

Answer 2

Ok first of all i think a word is missing from: "Your life is a young woman, with the memory of a little still in her pink Oshkosh overalls," you could say little girl or woman or even little one, but something doesn't sound right. Secondly the ending doesn't sound as if it ended so i suggest you switch it the lines around. "This isn't a class you can take over nor can i be erased from your transcript.

Answer 3

I think you need to make the last line shorter so that it has rhythm and don't repeat it because you already talked about a class in the last part. Other than that, nice job! =)