Constructive way to deal with mother who is obsessive and sometimes mean about my weight.?

Question

My mother has always been very concerned about my weight, as a child I was only fed raw vegetables and lean baked meat. Sometimes small portions of cheese, crackers, or yogurt for snacks. I did not drink sodas or juices only milk and water. Recently my husband and I separated and I moved into a house next door to my parents. Often when my husband comes to visit he brings take out for my daughter and myself as do some of my friends because they know we don't have any appliances besides a refrigerator yet. Whenever my mother sees someone bring food she comments something like "Oh I see so and so brought you a cheeseburger earlier did you eat it?" I am about 5 feet or so and wear a size 9. I have problem finding clothes that fit well because of my short stature and large b*****s (DD). She insists that it is because I eat too much. The truth is I usually eat one small meal a day. Also I work outside all day cleaning up construction sites so I normally do not eat during the day because of the heat but sometimes when I come home I am very hungry from the work and want seconds of dinner and she will always make comments that I should not eat more than one serving. I spend alot of time being hungry on the weekends because I don't want her to see me eat. At the same time though I am ok with my body. I think even if I were to do as she wanted I would still weigh more than most people my height because of the larger b*****s and the fact that I work in a physically demanding job and have a lot of muscle. What can I do to do tell her that I'm ok with me and she needs to keep her comments to herself? It's not like I just want to eat her food, I buy food and keep it in my refrigerator but I need to cook it at her house, and I have even offered to cook dinner for her.

Answer 1

Mention her wrinkles to her. Look at her face and tell her, "I see you got another one."

Answer 2

It sounds like ur mother has a lot of insecurities about herself and maybe her own weight and by critisising u about urs it helps her feel like she is the better person.. maybe you should drop hints to her about her weight.. like saying how good her body looks in a pair of pants or something positive and then maybe she will feel a little biut better.. it sounds like ur an adult now im guessing and u have life experience and that is good.. so your mothers words may b easier to handle and think positive and not let them get u down. Also have you tried telling her how u feel about what she says to u?? because if you sit down and hve  a talk about it she may understand and not mention ur eating habits as much.

You sound healthy and just tell her u appreciate her being worried about ur health and wieght however it is not nessesary and you really do love her for careing

:-) good luck

Answer 3

Microwaves are cheap, get yourself one. Or put a call out to your friends for a used stove, or craigslist. Buy a fricken hot plate if you have to.

Your mother has been abusing you all your life with food. To control a childs diet to that extreme is abusive and the obvious result is that you, a grown woman, still flinch every time she slaps you with a food related statement. This is her obsession, not yours. For all her control over what went in your mouth, nature still gave you a short body and a big chest. That's because that's the body you got, and her inability to accept that part of you is pathological.

Don't pass this on to your daughter. Find a way to cook in your own home and stop allowing her the opportunity to beat you up. Oh and change the locks, you don't need her coming and going. I'm not sure why you felt the need to move next door to her, you might want to think about that.