Contacting birth parents?

Question

I'm 16 and was adopted as an infant. My biological mother never got to hold me or see me after she gave birth. I love my adoptive parents, they're my parents and I say that without thinking twice.

I want to find my biological parents, my birth mother at least. Can I try to find her information/contact her now or do I have to wait until I am 18? My parents of course would consent to it and help me in my search.

The names of my biological parents were not released to us, so my parents do not know their names.

Answer 1

At your age you will need your a-parents help with the search.

Try contacting the adoption agency that was used - sometimes you can find out information through them.

Also - try all these steps -

Add your details to the registries here

http://www.isrr.net/

http://registry.adoption.com/

Check here for information on your state records here -

http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?...

Check here for search help - and links to free search angels -

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

(I'm assuming you're in the USA - if you are not - please add more details to the question - and we can help more)

All the very best with your search.

Answer 2

i live in the uk so i don't know what the laws in US are but here you have to wait till your 18 as they consider you  to be mature enough to understand the procedure and be able to cope with what you find out.i was adopted when i was 13 weeks but i'm not in good terms with my adoptive mother as she was abusive. i've just had a baby girl and i don't know my medical history which worries me.my adoptive mum refuses to help me so i'm doing this on my own and i'm finding quite hard. my mum was given adoption records when she adopted me which ahs all the details you need to know like there names, why they gave you up etc. you'll prob have to go to your social services in your district and they will find your records. because my mum wont give them to me i have to go down with the police to get them which i'm not looking forward to. your lucky that your parents are supporting you so they will help as much as they can. i hope everything goes well for you.xx

Answer 3

It is possible you would have to wait till your 18 to search. I don’t know if having your parents consent would allow you to start now that may be something they need to ask a lawyer. Were you adopted in Florida? I would compile any information you have, the agency that did your adoption, where you were born, hospital. It could be a start.

You can also find adoption registries where a person can just enter the state and date of birth.

Not knowing names will be tricky. Doable? Yes but its liable to take much longer, possible even years. Do not lose hope though its great you parents are willing to help you.

Answer 4

You do not have to wait until you are 18 to search. However, most places that allow you to post your information will remove it until you are 18.  Give it a shot.

Things to post include your birth date, place of birth, hospital of birth and state.  Post not only in your state, but in surrounding states as well.  Many children were adopted in NH or RH, but actually born in Massachusetts, as an example.

Answer 5

Hi, use this website to find your bio mom:  http://forums.adoption.com/   From what I know a lot of people find their bio parents thru this forum.

Good luck to you!

Answer 6

I think that in most states you'll have to wait until you're 18 to begin a search.

My advice for a first step is to look into the regulations where you live and/or where the adoption took place (could be the same state, could be a different one).  You can look up your state and adoption on Google and see what the department is called in your state that handles adoptions and adoption records.  You can contact them and find out the process and regulations and go from there.

Another lead would be to contact the agency that handled the adoption.  They would likely be able to let you know the process and regulations for the are, too.  They probably also have the info you need.

I hope you can begin your search now, but even if you have to wait a couple of years, go for it then!  It sounds like you're a child any parent would be glad to call their biological child.  Hooray for your adoptive parents, too, for being open and supportive.

Answer 7

If your parents are willing to help you and give you their consent and blessing then you can start the search now you don't have to wait.  If you know the name of the hospital you were born at and the city/state and you already have your birthdate then it will be easier to track down but may take some time but with your parents help you are more likely to find the information you seek.  If they didn't give you info though then it was most likely a closed adoption so be prepared for a long road a head if that be the case.

Answer 8

Hello,

I am sorry to use this as a forum, but just wanted to let you know that I was adopted at birth and feel the same way as you do; my adoptive parents are my parents. I am 17 and just wanted to give a shout out to someone like me.

Good luck, and while I haven't found my adoptive parents yet, it is something I hope to pursue in the future.

Love,

Allyson

Answer 9

You are allowed to do it now as long as your adoptive parents consent even without thier consent you can do it behind thier backs it's just harder. I will help you in your search if you need that. [e-mail]

Answer 10

If you are in the UK then when you are 18 you will be entitled to read your whole file - this will tell you everything you need to know and if you want to make contact, the person giving you your file will be able to try to mediate for you between you and your biological parents.

I am interested that you say your bio mum never held you or saw you after she gave birth. I wonder how you know this?  I presume that this was info your parents told you as you were growing up, which makes me wonder if they don't know slightly more than they might have told you already.  

I have friends who are adopted and friends who are adoptive parents, and parents nearly always have significant information.

I'm not saying your parents are keeping things from you - but I'm just saying if you sat them down, told them that you were planning to do a search when you are 18, but you want them to be supportive etc, they might tell you some more.  For example, where were you born....they will know this...what district.....names of social workers.....all pieces of your jigsaw.

I wish you well - you sound very level headed for a 16 year old - I'm not surprised your mum and dad would be supportive of your search.