Continuing the Child Support debate

Question

If you become seriously involved with a single mother, through long term dating, common law marriage or marriage, would you expect to pay for the child/children and not expect their father to contribute financially?

Answer 1

Yes, that is exactly the case.  I adopted my wife's daughter so she is now my daughter as well.  She receives no child support, as she is my daughter and my responsibility.  I do pay child support for my children with my ex-wife, however (and I am still in their lives, though she tries repeatedly to interfere with this).  I have no qualm with paying the support, but am disappointed when she uses it for a newer car, for XM radio, and for plastic surgery.  I do believe that since this money goes to the county from my paycheck that they do have the ability to delegate these funds.  Child support is intended to meet basic needs of the children, such as food and clothing etc.  Coupons can be provided for these items.  Another option that might be fair is issuing a card like an EBT card.  This may be more fair as many people have complained about the coupon proposal, saying that it offers custodial parents too little control over their support.  This card would offer more freedom, but would also make it easier for the county to track how the money is being spent to ensure that the child is indeed the benificiary of the support.

Answer 2

As long as the father gets to see his children, he should pay.

Answer 3

Only day to day costs.

The father should be responsible foe education, clothes, etc.

What a mess! I hope I stay married to the mother of my children.

Answer 4

If I was the mother in that situation, I wouldn't expect my new partner to financially support children which aren't his. The biological father has a commitment to his children, regardless of the marital status of the mother, and he should be supporting them equally with her.  

Answer 5

Don't become involved with a single mother.  It is way too much hassle.  There is a reason the other guy left her in the first place.  Do you really want his leftovers?

Answer 6

I would help her while we are a couple, but if the relationship ended I would stop helping her. If they aren't my kids, I have no obligation to pay for them.

Answer 7

Their thinking is absolute BS and completely ridiculous.  

You make a kid, you help support it.  Get over yourself.  You're not paying enough to affect the "household."  

Don't want to?  Fine, you lose the right to ever see your child.  Better your son or daughter never know what a selfish shmuck Dad was.

Answer 8

Geez I love how NONE of the guys actually answered your question.

I think that the father should still help pay for HIS kids. I would also hope that he gets to spend time with his children.

Answer 9

No way.  No matter what the biological father should be contributing.  My husband is my kids step-dad, and he does help financially as if they were his own.  Such as assist with my 16 yr old first car, etc.  However, we still receive child support from there Dad.

Answer 10

There is nothing to say-if the man does not pay, he goes to jail.  Women, however, do not go to jail.  Feminists, this is not gender equality.  Come on ladies, let's march!  

Answer 11

I would pay nothing, i'm not paying for some other guys kid.

Answer 12

Children Need Both Fit Parents in their lives. Financially and emotionally. I have dated and married a mom of three kids. I do my part, just like they were my own. He did nothing. Therefor yes I would and its a pity that some men skip out on their kids. Save a little money, loose out on the wonderful people they will become.

Answer 13

no, i wouldnt expect to be financially responsible for her kid(s). i didn't create the kid, so why should i be responsible for them?  

Answer 14

I would expect the absent parent to be part and parcel of their children's lives (equal time and responsibility) with the other parent. Both bio-parents are the ones responsible for their children, not society, not strangers, not the "next man".

I hold the mothers that either drive the other parent out or in any way withhold his relationship with his children with contempt just as I do those who expect or demand others support their sole decision. If the father choose to leave, the scenario changes and he should still be required to *help* support the children (however, not as is done currently). Otherwise, no. The expense and responsibility should be totally borne by BOTH bio-parents only. The new boyfriend can expect to wind up partially supporting the children and their mother simply by association. If the new couple split, his responsibility is for himself alone, just as it was before becoming involved with the single-mother as was pointed out by "Harmon v. DSHS, 951 P. 2d, 770 (Wash. 1998)" wherein the step-parent was ordered by the lower court to continue to support his step-children even though they had moved back into the home of their father, which the the Washington State supreme court overruled.What would have been the outcome had the children and mother simply moved out on their own? Probably, he would have been held as responsible for child support to the mother, even though he bears absolutely no responsibility for the children being. Such is the society we are creating: democratic-socialism.