Control my 4 year old son's tantrums?

Question

My 4 year old has really bad tantrums every day, sometimes more. He kicks, scratches, deliberately breaks things, and defies all authority.

Any ideas on how to control him, punish him, or what his problem might be?

Answer 1

My son is 4yrs old 2 and im having the same problems. They r jst at the age where they r testing the boundaries. its really difficult but i find that staying calm and persistant works. my sons biggest flaw at the moment is telling me no. I give him a chance and if he still doesnt do as hes asked, i put him on the naughty step. once u decide on a punishment stick 2 it otherwise it shows that ur not in control! hope that helps

Answer 2

well i was 4 at once and it worked wonders with me put that kid in the corner stand him in a corner on can goods with his nose in the corner barefoot, hands behind his back.

Answer 3

When he starts one, tell him (or yell, if you have to) "You need to stop now!" Say it in a loud, calm, clear voice. Tell him twice. If he then doesn't listen, and continues, give him the 5 second count-down. Tell him, again in a loud, calm and clear voice, "I'm going to start at 5 and count down. If I get to 0 and you are still having this tantrum like a little baby, you will get a spanking over mommy's knee." Just saying it may work, because he may just stop in fear of getting a sore bottom. It depends on the kid. It would of worked for me when I was a kid, but he may continue just to see if you are kidding. NEVER GO BACK ON YOUR THREATS. If you tell him he will get a spanking, give him a spanking. If you tell him something, but don't follow through, he will grow up knowing that he can do whatever he wants and will not get punished, and when mom says something, it means nothing. If you do manage to get to 0, take him to his room, and give him a spanking. If he is screaming and crying, ignore him and close the door. (make sure there are no toys or anything to amuse him in his room. This is not time to play, it's time to cool down. If there are toys, take him to another room thats closed in with a door.) Come back in 10 minutes, and explain to him what he did to deserve his spanking, what he should have done to avoid it, and that for now on, he's a big boy, and when he misbehaves like that he WILL get a sore bum. Hopefully he won't try it again!

Answer 4

Wow! That's pretty severe for a 4 yr. old.  I would speak to his physician about that seriously.  He may have some sort of brain imbalance... That punishing won't help.  Also, keep his nails trimmed and breakables AWAY if possible.  

*I have a brother who was terrible as a child- would throw temper tantrums like you describe and defy authority.... He's now 21 and has been in jail repeatedly... Talk to a professional....ASAP!  

Good luck

Answer 5

Spank his butt

Answer 6

Lack of effective punishments is the problem.

Do you believe in spanking? Now's the time if you do. Otherwise, stick his nose in the corner and stand over him till he is calm. Tell him he is acting like a baby, so he will be treated as  one.

Each time he does this, take away his favorite toy for a week, or no tv for a  week, whatever he'd miss the most. If he breaks something, take a toy of his and break it (sounds harsh, but he will know how it makes people feel.)

Answer 7

call Supernanny she'll help you

Answer 8

find a safe place, if you can to just let him get it out.  to stop them ignore his bad behavior as much as possible.  he may need counseling but try the ignoring first if you REALLY ignore it you'll be amazed how fast it goes away

Answer 9

Try watching Take home Nanny. Its an amazing show for parents that have problems teaching their kids discipline. Whenever your kid is being bad, make sure you address the issue. If he disobeys you, send him to time out. Get a chair and put it in a corner or somewhere where he can stay and tell him that he must stay until he is sorry and is ready to listen to mommy. If that fails, take away the things he loves the most ( t.v. , toys, games,etc.) and return them after a day or so . Remember only YOU can control him, and you must stand firm on all your decisions. You are the one that makes the rules.

When he is done with his tantrum and apologizes, reward him with hugs and kisses . That way he knows that mommy is happy when he is good.

Answer 10

Ignore him, walk away unless he is in danger of hurting himself.  He is pushing his limits with you and if you respond then he will think that kind of behavior works.  After he is done put him in time out for 4 minutes. Put the timer on the microwave and let him listen for the ding.  If he continues the behavior in timeout, start all over again.   Consistent and persistent are key here.  Children usually don't respond until about 15 or 20 times...their emotional status doesn't allow it to sink in until then.  He will stop eventually but there will be a few lapses along the way.