Controlling parents how to stop me from going mad.

Question

okay like many others my parents are over protective. its not an opinion its a fact. they try to do everything for me and yet at the same time when they want me to try it by myself, i dont know how and they get mad.wtf! i dont understand stuff like this. im 18 and i pay for my own college cell, and anything else including bills in the house. but this is no way means im independent. they control every aspect to my life so much that when i try to really do something, at the last moment they come in and destroy any chance of it. i'm going mad cause i cant learn from my mistakes, yet i cant leave because i cant afford to live anywhere. i feel like i have no purpose and life has no meaning since i dont decide a thing.

Answer 1

Tell them to back off and let them know that you are legally an adult and you want some say in what goes on in your life.  If you are paying for your college, cell phone, and bills in the house(which is rent) then you could afford to live somewhere else.  Get a job or 2nd job, start looking for an apartment, and apply for government grants to pay for your college.  If you get government grants to pay for your college, then you should be able to afford to move out and pay the bills.  I had the same problem with my parents too and they acted that way because they didn't think I could afford to leave.  I had bought my own car (saved and paid $8000 cash), paid the insurance for it, paid my cell phone bill, and was paying my way through college with my job as a Sonic carhop. I was 19 years old and they wouldn't give me any room to breathe! I'd come home before my 11:00 curfew and my dad would change it to 9:00.  I finally got fed up when I found out he told my friend we couldn't date and then he took my car away and hit me.  I left in the middle of a winter storm on foot and walked 6 miles into town where my friend found me.  That was the final straw.  I quit my job, closed my bank account, jumped a plane to Alaska with my friend, and we got married.  I lived there for a year & had my first child 3000 miles away from my family.  They said I couldn't make it and I proved them all wrong.  That may be what you have to do.  I'm not saying do anything as drastic as I did, but you do need to set some boundaries on what they can control in your life.  If you're paying bills in the house, then that's rent.  They can then be considered your landlords and cannot legally enforce rules without a signed agreement.

Answer 2

You need to get together with your friends and find a house you can flat-share in. Then speak to your parents, tell them you need to move out and ask if they'll help you with the bills until you finish your studies, and maybe a bit longer.

The only way to get your independence and freedom is live away from your parents but still close enough to get support (financial and otherwise) when you need it.

I've been in your situation, now is the time to move out - so you can experience the best years of your life, and develop your social skills and personality.

You're not that far from your twenties, they tend to go past with a blur.. and then you're at 25 and the next big milestone is 30. If you don't take steps now you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

I'm 29, I've been exactly where you are at the moment. Cheap flatshare is affordable, get looking on house sharing sites. Now.

Answer 3

look i agree with the 1st answer but you also need to show them that you are able to make your own decisions then maybe they might lighten up. it they don't once you have proved yourself, then talk to them

Answer 4

have you talked to them and told you how much it bothers you?

Answer 5

Everyone has a purpose. Believe it or not, we all have reasons why we are here. Just tell them out, tell them that they need to relax and start giving you more slack than what they are giving you.