Conversation Skills - Asking Questions?

Question

I have a horrible time asking questions in general conversation.

I was raised in one of those "women are to be seen, not heard" and "speak only when spoken to" homes, so I have it ingrained that if someone wants me to know, they'll tell me.

I have a hard time finding the line between nosiness and interest, and I think it makes people think I'm self-centered when they ask me questions and I answer, but I don't ask them questions in fear of seeming intrusive.

I don't want them to think I'm disinterested or careless, but I don't want them to think I'm nosy.

This has created a gigantic problem for me in communication.

If anyone can point out the line between interest and nosiness, or if anyone has this same problem, I'd appreciate replies.

Hm... thanks.

Answer 1

Every person’s line is different. A good rule of thumb is if you’d be offended/embarrassed to answer the question you just asked, it’s too personal.

Answer 2

Wow, tough one.  You seem like a good girl, though, so I bet you have good judgment.  The problem is that everyone has different views on how much information is public and how much is private.  I have a strong interest in languages, so when I meet someone who speaks with an accent I can't identify, I want to know their nationality or heritage.  I try my best to ask politely, and many aren't offended but others are; they feel I'm being critical of them or something.  You might just need to ask more vaguely, in a way that gives them the option to share what they feel is appropriate.  In dating, for example, I'll say to a girl, "So, tell me your life story" rather than asking specific things like "So, how many guys have you already slept with?" lol that would be bad.

Answer 3

i really did enjoy making that story up ... TOO BAD IT'S FACT !