Coping with heartbreak?

Question

i fell in love with someone i talk to online - we have known each other now for 2 years - and the last three weeks i have spent in his arms each nite when he came over to visit me and we had an amazing time while he was here

only now he has flown home with both of us knowing that the 3500 mile distance from each other is just too much and neither of us can leave our respective countries to be with each other

and it hurt so much and is lonely because i want him so much but know that this is it for us on that level

Answer 1

So why didn't you put as much "love" and attention into getting to know someone nearby as you did in someone so far away?  

You need to get off the computer and get into the social scene in your neighborhood/community.  Being pathetic on YAnswers isn't going to achieve any sympathy but it will surely bring out your flaws.

Answer 2

i completely agree with anna. go for it. true love is a once in a lifetime opportunity. someone give it all up and just go. if this is what your heart wants, let it have him.

Answer 3

If you know, the end has come, then you have to move on.

Learn something from this. Don't get involved in an impossible relationship. It is just a no win situation. And it is a lot of pain. Instead look for relationship that you know can grow.

If the pain don't kill you it will make you stronger!

Answer 4

you need to either make a plan to be together or start the long hard process of getting over each other - there can't really be any happy medium unless you're prepared to be internet penpals - thre is more to life than jobs and mortgages, remember, so maybe you could get together properly.  If that's totally impossible it will really hurt and may take up to 2 years or so, but you will eventually 'forget' each other. My heart goes out to you, have been there and done that, and i will never be the same again.

Answer 5

ok, i think i can relate to this more than most so i'll give you some background and some advice. Firstly, i am in a fairly similar position to you at the moment. my fiancee of four years currently lives in texas, i live in the UK, it's a similar distance. i remember the first time we met up, it was a christmas and for three weeks also, and i can agree, it does feel like your world is ending when you or they have to leave. however, will you be able to see him again? save up, go visit each other as often as you can. me and my fiancee always try to spend summer together (but i know it's not always possible).Secondly, when it comes for you to have to leave each other again, yes it hurts, but it's never, ever as bad as that first time. it's surprising how you learn to cope with it. i too felt like i couldn't continue with the relationship, it felt too hard, but that was over three years ago now and i'm thankful every day that i didn't give up. if you really feel something for this person, i'd say try and make it work, give it all you have. don't end up regretting your decision forever

i wish you all the luck in the world

Answer 6

find someone else

Answer 7

I did the same thing! and it does hurt a h**l of a lot.

Whatever you do, don't go cold turkey...still talk to him but try to cut it down over time, hes probably going to moan at you for not talking so much but don't create a big drama over it. It makes it worse. Start looking at other guys and maybe tell him you want to try and stick to being friends [but only when and if he can deal with it...i don't know what hes like] Try to spare his feeling whenever possible but not to the extent that it hurts you in the process.

Keep reminding yourself that it can't work whenever you start to think about him and keep yourself busy for a few months, slowly you'll begin to think and want to be with him less and less until it really is just a friends who used to be in love thing

Its going to be hard work but if i can do it you can too =]

Good luck x

Answer 8

Why can you not leave either one of your countries? You only live once and you might regret not giving it a go!

Answer 9

Well if you know its over then the best thing is to move on. It'll be a long process but you can do it. Try to do stuff that you enjoy to keep your mind off of him and maybe go on some dates with guys in your country anything to keep your mind off of him :)

Good luck.

Answer 10

Apparently you aren't facing the fact that neither of you is willing to give up anything to be together on a permanent basis.  In other words, the price tag is more than you or he is willing to pay.

Maybe that's the greater hurt, and that's the real issue you have to deal with.  So acknowledge it, face it, and move forward.  Be sure that what you have here is worth a future without him.  When you are sure of that, then know that in time the pain will fade and eventually leave, and you will have moved on.

Answer 11

If you know it wont happen, Just write to him at Christmas ONLY and move on dating someone in your own area....get on yahoo singles when you feel more strong....sometimes we take other levels....im married to someone who im bonding with..