Could I really stay happy with a NUTJOB (that I happen to love??)

Question

My boyfriend is way great, however he is schizo-effective. He gets a disability check from the government once a month cuz he is legally insane. I fell for him cuz he can often be funny, adorable, strong and good in bed (!) s**y and fairly "normal". However he has a history of rage and drug problems. He is extremely impulsive. Not too long ago I was woken up in the middle of the night by the sounds of hammering and sawing in the garage. He was making these crazy, midevil torture devices, like clubs with nails sticking out of them. (paranoid?) He also left twice in the past week late at night with his thug friends, even tho I told him no, and both times he could've easily wound up arrested or dead. Also, he won't take his meds unless his mom physically gives them to him in a little cup. He wants to move in with me, but I told him I'm not taking the place of his mama! I love him to pieces, but it's tough, also with the money sitch cuz I'm the only one working right now.

What to dooo

Answer 1

so if i drink and get mad i can get money from the state? wow.....he needs to be institutionalized.....but then i guess we all would be paying for that too.,....please dont have kids with this man

Answer 2

Think about this carefully. You don't want to become his Mom or caretaker. He will resent you and eventually it will be over anyway. What bothers me more is that he has thug friends. I would lose him. He isn't good boyfriend or husband material with those thug friends.

Answer 3

No you cannot stay happy.  He is not responsible enough to even take meds regularly.  You will end up in a co-dependent relationship that you will regret later in life.

Answer 4

No you cannot really stay happy with a nutjob that you happen to love.

I say this with love in my heart..."Stop being an idiot."

Answer 5

I'm no psychiatrist, but it sounds to me, that if you have to ask the question, you're unsure why you're really with him. Do you really love him? Or do you just think you love him? And do you honestly feel like you're guilted into loving him? If you've never experienced love before then you can't know what it is, and that's why people can be mistaken into thinking they're in love when its really just lust or like. Think hard about it. Maybe he is the one for you, if you're willing to take on the responsibility. Many people live happily and fall in love with people that have disabilities, but the love has to make up for the responsibility. But maybe he isn't the one for you. Maybe you're just destined for a great friendship, or its just not time. If you don't feel like you should/can take care of him properly, or you feel like you have to be with him for some reason other than love, or it bothers you, he's really not the right person for you.  

Answer 6

Its very strange what we'll do for love. I mean in most cases like this, the person involved would run a mile! I dunno, you'll have to decide pretty soon if you think its worth the hassle in the long run. I mean, whats the point in wasting perhaps a few precious years of your life being with a man like this who might never change? And whats with all the medievel torture stuff?! You'd wanna be careful he doesn't end up using it on you! I think if I was in your situation, I'd have to carefully consider where this is going. Are you gonna have to support him years to come? Or will he eventually get a job instead of relying on you to support him? Does his mental problems mean that he will never be capable of holding down a job? If so, you're stuck in this situation for life. Is it worth it?

Answer 7

break up with him