Could You Please Help Me? Thank You!

Question

ok my girlfriend and I are 19

and she is the nicest and prettiest girl in the world (in my opinion that is..)

but she kinda has this controlling issue...she doesn't want me to drink/go to parties, smoke and she wants me to fix my relationship with my dad and I'm working on that...

now, i'm OK with those but my friends are telling me that i should be the one who should control her...lol

so I asked my gf why she's being controllable and she cried (she's very emotional) and told me that the only reason is that she loves me and she cares about me and if I wanna go do those things, then I'd have to dump her...(which I'll NEVER do that for that reason...)

so what should i do?

She doesn't drink, doesn't smoke and doesn't go to parties

Answer 1

" my friends are telling me that i should be the one who should control her "

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http://nomarriage.com/

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Answer 2

Your relationship is on a time bomb. I know someone who is controlling like your gf, but wants the best for you. She has had a lot of relationship problems over the years. All her past bfs and bfs' friends could not stand her. Her only excuse is that she loves them and only wants the best for them, but doesn't care what they think. Everyone's different - some may like this type of gf, but a lot won't, because over time, she'll just become worse. You need to have your own space, and your gf needs to has hers. A relationship without this freedom is just going downhill in the long run.

Answer 3

You gotta problem.  On the one hand she is right and her influence will probably benefit you.  But on the other hand if she is allowed to control you it will get worse and worse until disaster results (a breakup or worse).

You are going to have to set limits with her on how much controlling she can do.  Remember that cryin is a woman's best form of manipulation.  Don't fall for it.  But also you need to accommodate her on issues which are important to her.  The current things she wants you to control are valid items by the way.  Drinking can really create problems.  Smoking is just dumb, stinks, and makes a mess of your house.  Going to parties I think she could lighten up on depending on the type of party.

Another thing.....your friends ain't living your life.  They are not the ones with a relationship at stake.

Try to see if you can't do the major things your gf wants.  If after you have done those and she keeps pushing for more things...then you may want to take the option of dumping her cuz she will never quit with it.

Answer 4

Like she says, she loves you and wants what is best for you. On the other hand, if you give in to all her demands, she'll stop at nothing to control you. So you have to draw a line as to how much you should let her be in  control. If she really loves you, she should be willing to make adjustments herself.

Answer 5

First of all, kudos for caring what she thinks.  nd, does any good ever come out of going to a party, getting drunk and not remembering what happened?  Try saying you would like to have a get together without the drinking and other stuff. If you feel its a control issue, tell her in a nice way, (Hon, I love you, but you're doing it again.)  Maybe she doesn't realize she is. If you think she is Ms. Right, it will work out.  I started dating my husband when I was 15, that was 16 years ago.

Answer 6

I say stick with her, too many added chemicals in cigarettes that mess you up and reduces your chances for having healthy children, drinking destroys your liver but as for partying let her come with you and let her know it safe w/o the smoking and drinking. She loves you and maybe someone she was close to was doing that and it affected her. Talk to her.