Could it be my fault?

Question

Hi,I´m a mother of two boys,aged 5 and 3.My eldest son is a very nervous child,annoying and cries for everything (he´s got a very good heart and is very honest and I love him a lot don´t get me wrong).My youngest is so easy ...never cries,does what he´s told and is very sweet and tender.

Sometimes I think it could be my fault.I try my best and try to treat them the same way,but the old one gets punished all the time because of his behaviour and this makes me feel awful.He´s got the mania of touching my bum (you lough now don´t you?) and this really makes me angry,as he does it all the time ,and makes silly noises all day trough.I´ve tried to ignore it,but I just can´t handle it any more.Any tips?

Answer 1

Sell the eldest keep the youngest.

Answer 2

Try not to get angry, he may find it confusing and if he sees you get angry he may think it is appropriate behaviour. I know its hard but if you can just talk to him very calmly and in a grown up way. Take his hand off and say, 'mummy doesn't want you to do that' and keep on with the same words, very calm all the time. As of for the silly noises / whinging what worked with my son was saying calmly, 'please speak in a normal voice' or 'I can't understand you, please speak in a normal voice' "I wont listen to whinging, please repeat it in a normal voice' if he doesn't and whingess again walk away a little, showing that you're not going to listen to it.

As for his nervous style, maybe its time to start rewarding him for being 'brave', encouraging him to do things that are a challenge and get the sticker board out!

How is his diet ? I only ask because he may be 'flaky' if he is tired or not eating too well

I would also love to see every child supplemented with omega 3 (see link) . I have seen (after about three weeks) the marked improvement in a friends child after taking this, he was like another boy and it cant hurt to try. I was so impressed I started taking the adult version myself! My son has been taking it since he was about 3.

Answer 3

You need a break...call in the baby-sitters.

Answer 4

It sounds like you need a break! I'm sorry to hear things are frustrating with your oldest. Does he behave this way with other adults, or just with you? What kind of behavior management techniques do you use? For example. what's his consequence for touching your bum?

Kids are who they are. My brother and I were raised similarly by my parents, but we are extremely different people. I would say that consistency and maybe finding out the root of his behavior (does he want attention? etc) would be a good next step for you.

Answer 5

lol. kids are all different and often you get one easy and one hard child.

You say he makes noises all day. Is this something he can stop when you ask him? My son has Tourettes and he couldn't stop the noises. But other boys just love to make noises to drive us nuts. Some kids are more nervous than others. I have twins (b/g) and one leaps into anything full on and my son is more nervous about stuff. He is more sensitive than my daughter and as for the crying, it is quite normal for them to cry. But if it is over silly things then send him to his room till he can calm down.

Answer 6

I would ask his pediatrician, he may have some problems such as ADHD or ADD

Answer 7

I really feel for you, but i think you should take him to the Dr. for a check up. He may have a disorder of some kind, like others have mentioned Tourettes or ADD or ADHD. And no, I doubt its your fault. We all do the best we can as parents.

Answer 8

parenting class?

Answer 9

Aren't they crazy? Mine always grabs me too...not on the bum but on the boob! I just freak out....it seems to put her off as my reaction is WAY over the top...I also explained that it is a "Private" area....only for me...and that everyone's bottoms and bust are private.  As for it being your faulot it's not....they all have their own little personalities...maybe he needs more private time with you? The bottom grabbing is perhaps an attention getter? Did you give him over-much attention as a little tiny when he fell over etc? It's time to praise him lavishly for his bravery then...to point out how brave he is if he hurts himself and doesn't cry...make him get less attention for hurting himself and crying than attention for hurting himself and being brave.

Answer 10

its not ur fault u just need to learn its ok to discipline ur child