Could me being FTM and still liking men have a root to my mother?

Question

well, I'm FTM trans, pre-op,

and I still take interest in men,

actually...I kind of despise women (no offense to the ladies here),

I'm actually disgusted by my anatomy/biological gender,

I was wondering if this could have any root to my deep hatred of my mother and older sister ?

to be short and sweet,

they loved to tell me how hated I was,

how unwanted I was,

and inflict constant drama and conflict,

with my friends and between them and I,

I was a tomboy always,

but, could me being disgusted by women,

and hateful towards them be caused by my mother and sister in some sense ?

Answer 1

I'm not sure. My mom and sister aren't that great and tend to pick on me lots but my dad does too (h**l, he's even worse than my sister) and I'm also g*y and female-to-male transsexual (pre-everything). I don't think it has to do with my family though, I remember always feeling weird about my anatomy and being confused about it cause since very young I was aware I liked boys, and at that point in time I was completely oblivious to anything called "emotional abuse" or "problems" and thought everything about me was normal.

Well I guess this answer wasn't very helpful, heheh... pretty much all I'm saying is "I dunno."

Answer 2

1. Lots of FTMs are g*y (and bi)....lots! Its possible you just like to men for no other reason.

2. It's certainly possible that having an abusive(?) mother and sister could manifest in a distaste for women. You certainly wouldn't be the first dude to extend your frustrations with a couple of women to every woman on the planet.  How that does or doesn't mingle with your own feelings about your body, only you can answer that.

I will say though, i think you will find transition much easier if you get this sexism out of your way. Most people, men and women, are just decent folks trying to get by in the world. It sounds like you know it, but just need to learn this on a deeper level. Having a realistic understanding of what men and women are really about, and not falling back on broad sweeping generalizations (good or bad) will be of great service when figuring out how to settle comfortably into your life as a man.  

Answer 3

Your despising of women may be connected to your betrayal by your mother and older sister. When you live for a long time with people who are supposed to love and support you tearing you down it leaves scars in many ways.

Can it make you g*y though? Heck no.

I'm a bisexual transman, and it's not because of the long standing psychological games my mother played with me. It's because was born a bisexual transman. The way I perceive and interact with most women who carry traits I don't see as positive is where my mother's actions impacted on my character development.

Hope that helps you some.

Answer 4

Benny,

I've got something to think about.  You said: "I kind of despise women (no offense to the ladies here), I'm actually disgusted by my anatomy/biological gender,"

Have you ever thought that maybe your feelings about women have their origin in your feelings about your own body?  Hear me out.  Before transition I NEVER would have thought I'd find men attractive.  But now 5 years later and that has in fact happened.  I'm not saying that will happen to you, just saying to be open to the possibilities.

Transition can, and often does, change everything.

Answer 5

No

There are lots of g*y ftm's out there as there are L*****n mtf's  

Answer 6

All I can say is that I feel so sorry for you. I'm sorry that your life was so much harder than it ever should have been, and that I hope no matter what you do makes you happy.

I don't think you should hate your mom and sister. I think that just makes it easier for them to say those things... My personal view is that you should love your family no matter what they do, however, you should simply make it clear that you don't agree with their views when those times arise.

I guarantee you if you went up to your mom and said something like this...

"Mom, I love you so much, and I'm sorry if I haven't made you proud. I respect your views, however, right now I need to do what makes me happy. Your support would make my life a lot easier right now, and I'm asking for that."

...that it might make a huge difference in your relationship with her.

However, again, I wish you the best of luck and hope all goes well!