Could my experiences be the reason why my love life sucks?

Question

OK, someone please try to understand me. I've been doing a lot of thinking about the way my life is turning out.

I was raised by a single parent. I didn't really know my father because he abandoned me. My family did not have a positive influence on my life and I grew apart from them as I've gotten older because we no longer really have much in common.

I'm thinking about how this applies to my love life which is pretty much nonexistent. I wonder if it's all my fault because I am now realizing that I don't know really know how to deal with men. I never had a father. All of my male cousins and uncles (except one) are poor role models in many ways that I won't even elaborate here. As an adult, I'm wondering if this is the reason why I am suddenly having a hard time dealing with the opposite s*x. I've had a couple of relationships -one being very long term (5 years) and also very unhealthy.

Do you think this could be my problem? My not knowing how to interact with males? There is absolutely no external reason why I can't have a guy who's going to be good to me. People always tell me I have a lot of positive physical attributes and even some other positives going on with me. I know something has to be flawed within me (probably due to my life) but I can't grasp it.

How can I change myself in this area?

Answer 1

Don't worry, I understand your situation right now.. while having good parents as role models to their children is essential to life, there may be a reason why you haven't had any positive influence from your parents. God has a special plan for ALL of us, and every thing we do is based on our choices.. doing good deeds and making good moral decisions will lead you onto the goal God sent you way before you were born!.. To clarify what I am trying to say is, your parents have nothing to do with who you are now. Everything now is based on what you do, as I have said before.. You need to convince your self to stay strong and reach your goal, have a calm, anti-hateful mind.. Now to get specific, there are many males around you, but do any of the men you have been with have common characteristics as you?.. Do they have a respectful, clean, and responsible personality?.. Depends on what type of guy you are into.. Over time, you will meet many people.. and out of those people.. someone will reveal them self to you.. he will be the one for you.. there is someone for everyone in this world.. I Promise you that as long as you be a good person and look for someone that respects who you are and cares for you no matter what the circumstances, you will live a good life.. But remember to keep God before all the things you do.. without God, our lives are pointless..

Good Luck and God Bless!.. I'll Pray For you!.. We Love you here!!

Answer 2

I think you are very advance and honest in your self prognosis. Often our childhood affects our behavior in adulthood and we do not even know it. You can try to create a list of negative things that happen during your past relationships and what those men say about you. May be you can find a clue from that list. I have close friends who have childhoods like yours and often I find that it affect their adult relationships in one way. They seem to have problems with emotional intimacy with their spouses. Maybe it is the natural defense mechanism that is subconciously there due to their childhood where the men cannot be trusted. I am not sure if your experience is like that. You can help yourself by first identifying what is the problem that you have with relationships. Knowing the problem is half the battle won.

Answer 3

I kinda have the same problem, I'm kinda mean to women and I talk down to them.

They say all of our problems come from our childhood. My father wasnt there either, I saw him a lot (sometimes) but my mother was very tuff on men and in some ways I didnt understand. You know "if a man has nothing he ain't nothing" that type of stuff was said in my house a lot.

The best thing to do is keep working on yourself and accecpt the men and  REALLY  like you , NOT  the one that YOU LIKE!!!