Could our 6 year old boy be affected from grandmother always sleeping in bed with him?

Question

Our 6 year old used to have BIG problems sleeping when 4 and 5 because he was used to staying at his grandmothers and having her sleep in his bed a few nights a week. We stopped that and he stays with a great grandmother one night a week now. He hasn't had any problems in over a year with sleeping at home, but we just found out the great grandmother is sleeping in his bed at their house with him and when asked why he doesn't tell her he's a big boy now he says "because I get scared" (which isn't true, he just always secretly wants someone in bed with him because of having it all the time when younger) Could this affect his behavior later in life? Should we stop it?

Answer 1

I personally know a child that had slept with someone until she was 5, and the only adverse affect (not that it's a small one!) was that had a hard time with being left alone at all for a while. The child did grow out of that, though. Sometimes we think our young kids have ulterior motives when they don't, it's easy to think this way. But, always remember that no one ever knows how a person truly feels in their secret heart. He will grow out of it in time, don't worry!

Answer 2

No, it will not affect him adversly.  He will grow up very well adjusted knowing that loving family is nearby.  At the age of 10, co-sleeping should stop.

Answer 3

yes its unhealthy for him and he will rely on someone being there most of the time.

Answer 4

Yes, he is six! That is wrong.

Answer 5

uh....he might get a little too dependent...so put another bed in the room and put a person there and then move the bed further from him then move it out...maybe he wont be so dependent

Answer 6

It might and it might not. Ther is no formula here. Technically children should be ok with sleeping by themselves. It is important to their idividuality development and independance.

That said, when I was small and stayed at my great grandparets house, I did sleep with my great grandma. She passed away when I was 5 though, but I do remember those times fondly. Her sitting on the bed and brushing her hair are the most vivid memores I have of her....and her taking her teeth out and putting in a cup of water.... lol.

In any case, as long as he sleeps in his bed at home, I don't think it's a big deal:)

P.S. and no, I did not seduce people to sleep in my bed becuase I felt lonely.....give me a break!

Answer 7

I don't think so, I'm sure he'll grow out of it...

I always wanted to sleep with my parents, specially my mom.

Once in a rare while I still feel like sleeping with them lol...I'm 19...that's weird

Answer 8

that can very seriously affect his behavior in life. to go to the extreme, he'll start seducing people to sleep in his bed for him because he's so dependent on that, who knows what that can lead to. and..what is the grandmother doing in that bed with him? she should be saying no and telling him he's a big boy and should be sleeping on his own now

Answer 9

This is very unhealthy and he and the great-grandmother need to knock it off.

Answer 10

Good lord, Gramma knows how to raise children better than you do., she has enough sense to keep your child safe so leave her alone.   Just maybe suggest it, and dont push the subject.

Did you ever sleep in the bed with Grammy?  Was it a big deal then?  NOOOOO>

Answer 11

Well, it isn't a healthy behavior.

Be firm with the Grandmother - if she is going to continue sleeping with him you cannot let him stay over night.  It might feel like you are punishing your child or yourself, but really you need to get them away from doing that.

Answer 12

All children, all over the world, ALWAYS slept with other people.

Until just a few hundred years ago, and then, mostly just in Western societies.

In the wild, mammals do not force their young to sleep apart from them. Humans are the only mammals that do this.

And again, only in a few countries does this really happen much.

If you study anthropology, you'll find that throughout much of the world, children sleep with their parents or other relatives until they are pretty grown - 7 or even older.

In hunter & gatherer societies this is normal. And the incidence of mental illness is extremely low. Not like Western societies, where babies are put off into "nurseries" and made to sleep alone.

I think it's biologically normal for children to not want to sleep alone. And historically it's normal as well.

Answer 13

Give this some hard deep thought. Now what is unhealthy about this ?

There are families that all sleep in the same bed together. ( Old song titled Grandma's Feather Bed  )

It is a modern day thought and mostly in the USA that this might be harm-full for some unknown reason. The trend is take your child to the day care, or sitter and go off to work. Both parents  need to work to keep up the Jones. Then when they get home they have no special time to bond with their child because they are just burned out. All because of the greed to keep up the the Jones next door etc.

Because of this bonding and communications with the child is poor and absent. In turn, the cry of what did I do wrong, when the child gets in trouble or out of control. Its little things like this you didn't do when your child was young and needed it the most.

I see no problem what so ever, as long as both agree to share the bed and don't disturb each other.

( Connie Mom of 4 )

Answer 14

It may or it may not. It depends on his personalty.