Could some one read over my speech about cancer? and tell me if it's any good? thankyu.?

Question

Slip on a shirt, slop on some sunscreen and slap on a hat. Says Sid the cancer council seagull. Although this slogan is commonly used across our nation every summer, There is not enough education about sun safety through out our schools.

Melanoma is a form of skin cancer. The most deadliest and rapid moving cancer of them all. The first sign of melanoma is usually a new spot or an existing mole or freckle that changes in appearance.

Some of the changes might be that the spot may grow larger. The edges of the spot may look irregular rather than smooth. The spot may be mottled with a range of colours such as brown, black, blue, red, white or light grey. The spot may be itchy or may bleed.

It's recommended that you go straight to the doctors when you notice the signs, every few months especially the warmer ones you should get all your moles and freckles checked just to be on the safe side.

People with fair skin are at higher risk of developing melanoma than those with darker skin. but it is no substitute for sunscreen and adequate protective clothing. During the summer, a long sleeve top, A wide brim hat, Spf 15+ sunscreen, and protective sunglasses are suitable during the scorching summer temperatures.

“Between 11 and 3, stay under a tree, the best sunscreen of all is absolutely free.” This statement is not true, because even during the coldest times of the year, you can still get sun burnt. And not only that, UV Rays are not the only thing that causes cancer, Tanning booths and Pollution can trigger melanomas.

Although there are several causes of cancer, There are also many many myths about cancer. I’m sure a majority of you have heard that putting your mobile phone down your shirt or under your pillow of a night, causes cancer. Not true, I can assure you of that.

There is no proven study of any kind. Standing too close to your microwave while it’s cooking food causes cancer, Again, Rubbish, The only way you could possibly get cancer from your microwave is if the seal broke around it and radiation leaked out from it. Myth number 3).

Household bug sprays cause cancer, Sleeping with an underwire bra causes cancer, Photocopying a body part causes cancer, applying sunscreen once a day will keep you safe from UV rays, You can’t get burnt when you’re in the snow. Not one of these statements are true.

I recently had a personal experience with melanoma, I watched my friend go through a grueling death. Which only took 6 weeks from diagnosis to kill her. I buried a friend of 18 years in which melanoma was discovered in her left arm, and with many so called “successful operations” she was deemed clear of the disease but only one month later, the melanoma had shot up into her liver, which had rapidly caused her demise.

Painfully killing her within 6 weeks. It was an awful experience to witness, The lady was in significant pain which could only be controlled by morphine. The tumour on her liver was so massive that it looked like she was having twins, but the rest of her body had withered away.

Leaving the image of a prisoner of war. I can’t believe how aggressive this disease is,no amount of pain killers could stop her pain. And the amazing down hill fall in 2 days was astonishing. She couldn’t eat, Couldn’t sleep.

Couldn’t walk, She was so weak that she was in and out of conscience Her mouth was so dehydrated, her lips were cracked, and her tongue looked like an 100 year old cockatoo’s tongue.

Cancer research has come such a long way in the past 2 decades. When you were diagnosed with cancer back then, I was like almost a death sentence. But now with cancer research and treatments, such as radiology and chemotherapy and certain medications, a lot can be cured it’s just when it reaches the vital organs, ie. Liver, lungs, bowel, the survival rate drops dramatically,

A lot of people these days who have passed on from cancer, their families request that donations to the cancer council are made in lieu of flowers, so more money can be put in to research. Instead of money being wasted on flowers and dying like their loved ones.

The remarkable thing about this is that she had been to the doctors about a suspicious lump in her arm attached to a freckle. This went undiagnosed. So to anyone out there, don’t be afraid to get a second opinion, or 3rd if you are unsatisfied. If you have any enquiries call the cancer council now, 13 11 20. This is dedicated to my friend Anne Wesner, rest in peace.

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Keep in mind, i'm 15. anything i should add? please answer

Answer 1

There is just a few things like grammar such as it's instead of it is.  also some words you have seperated that should be together.  other than that it is informative and reads well.  However you said you buried a friend of 18 years.  do you mean she was 18 or you have known her for 18 years because you said you are 15.  it sounds like she was a friend for 18 years.  And honest though it is, it seems a bit too informative when it comes to her sickness.   Instead of going into heaps of detail on how sick she was and what her syptoms were try and get more emotive with how it affected her family and friends when she passed away and how if the doctor had taken her concerns more seriously in the first place she may have been diagnosed sooner. Other than that it is very good hope you do well xoxox.

Answer 2

What a very good talk.  We need more people like you to understand cancer, and also get rid of some myths!

What about giving a handout with some contacts of important websites that listeners might like to follow up?  Or getting some from charities?

If you are in UK, I would send you some from my website www.after-cancer.com which tries to tell browsers what you are telling them - but I am going to have to improve my delivery!

Good luck when you give the talk.

Verite R

Answer 3

Its very good and quite accurate.  Hopefully it will help save other people.

I would change this -  I buried a friend of 18 years in which melanoma was discovered in her left arm, and with many so called “successful operations” she was deemed clear of the disease but only one month

this sentance indicates she was your friend for eighteen years, which is not possible if you are 15yo.  I assume you mean that she was eighteen.  I would substitute  "I buried a friend only 18 years old after a melanoma was discovered in her left arm. and She had many so called “successful operations” she was deemed clear of the disease.  Only one month later, the melanoma spead to her liver, which rapidly caused her demise."

Answer 4

i'm a two time AML Leukemia survivor. You have my stamp of approval. I know how you feel about loosing good friends. I lost two. It's tough to watch someone slowly die. God bless her soul.

Answer 5

Wowww.. Very good speech. I'm 15 as well and I wouldn't be able to come up with something like that. I really liked it. You could add a bit more about how you were feeling [emotions] into it to make your speech more emotive. People will be persuaded to put on sun cream if you tell them what it's like to lose someone close to you and it oculd happen to them.