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Could someone please edit my paper about my childhood memories?

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I just finished writing my essay about childhood memories. It needs editing, since I wrote it in less than an hour. Did I make any grammar mistakes? Are there certain sentences that I should rewrite so it will sound better? What information can I add? What information is unnecessary?

Would anyone like to help me? Please give me your email address, and I`ll send it to you. Or just be sure I can email you when I visit your profile! Thanks in advance!

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  1. Oh no!!

    Try typing ctrl+z to get it back.

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