Question:

Could this be a form of Elder Abuse?

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I would like to know if this is a form of Elder abuse--financial:

One of a 77 year old widow's children has taken (she says "recieved") just over $55k over the last 4 years. Her mothers lifetime savings are now half of what she had and the daughter continues to tell her she can't make her rent payment and will get evicted, needs $650.00 for school supplies her high school student and the list goes on! The daughter's income is 60k and half of it is tax free. She lives in a state and city that has one of the lowest costs of living in the nation too! She has almost $400k in credit card debt and says she is just borrowing the money and will someday pay it all back which is impossible.

She will not stop trying to take money from her mother who is afraid to say no. She even once told her mother she needed money so much that she thinks she just might commit suicide instead. That of course produced the check she was wanting.

When a sibling angrily told her she was stealing from her mother and called it financial abuse, she screamed that she "had never been so horribly talked to in her life", and "had never stolen from her mother or abused her" and would never speak to the sibling ever again. Please tell me how you see this. Thank you very much!

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10 ANSWERS


  1. Yes! This is most defiantly use and abuse. If the 77 year old is manipulated by her daughter and feels afraid of what her daughter would do if she said no, this is a form of abuse. The elderly lady needs to speak with a counselor. She also needs someone to manage her money. If she didn't have complete control over her money, rather than trying to so no, she would be able to say you have to ask so n so. Then so n so could be the no person and the elderly lady would not feel so guilty. There are so many people that do this and it really makes me mad. She really needs to speak with someone to help her, maybee even a lawyer.


  2. yes this is elder abuse

  3. you better know what you are talking about, I've

    seen this happen, and the person who assumed

    learned a valuable lesson

  4. It makes me sad to hear this but Yes it is definitely Elder Abuse. Report it please! The daughter is out of control.

  5. Yes, it is indeed elder abuse...  the mother needs to be put in touch with elder services on this one. The woman who is doing this emotional abuse-and-leach number needs to be reported to the police... they will need to recover what they can. It it is not likely that any of this money will ever come back voluntarily without police help.

    The other siblings will need to consult a lawyer on the different types of powers of attorney that are available to handle this type of situation... especially since the mother is easily manipulated by this one greedy, thieving daughter. The mother needs a champion.

    It is highly probable that the mother's other kids will set her up with some sort of trust to feed her a certain amount of money each month... and perhaps actually handle paying bills for her. Someone else from the family may well have to step up and handle this.  

  6. Yes it absolutely is a form of abuse.

  7. It is elder abuse and a very common form of it.

  8. She is definitely taking advantage of her mother. I don't think it is considered elder abuse though because she is willingly giving the money to her daughter. Its not like her daughter is stealing it, however I don't think that makes it right either though. You need to let that elderly woman to know that she needs to start saying no.Really advocate for her in the best way that you can. But legally I don't think she can even force the daughter to pay it back unless there is a written contract because the daughter can turn around and say it was a gift

  9. thats abusive. but im more worried about this person taking the money. clearly she has a spending problem. and is also very immature. 400k in debt? that doesnt even seem possible for a person who is sane. you could put TWO people through medical school with all of that. She is a very spoiled, greedy, person from what i can tell. i dont know if thats technically elder abuse, but this person need a lot of growing up to do. There are 12 year olds who have a better moralistic character than her.

    I feel no pity for her at all.

  10. Sounds like it. A lot depends on whether she is a POA or a Guardian of the estate. Still their are things that can be done if she is or isn't.

    Contact your local Area Agency on Aging...they'll answer your questions.

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