Could this be a sign of autism?

Question

My 2 year old niece has been living with me and my parents for about 8 months now. Her mother is in the Marines and her father left them as soon as he was out of the military and she was only 1 year old.

My mom really believes that the little girl is acting out because she is not with her parents. When her mother does come to visit during the weekend, she yells at her and says things like "what the f--- do you want!?"...

The little girl has a real bad habit that at night, she throws fits when it's bed time, if we say NO to her or she gets real angry (this happens when she doesn't get her way or we take too long with her bottle, etc..) she bangs her head on the floor and bites herself. We have told my sister that she needs to take her to the doctor and explain to him what she does, all my sister says is that it's not big deal "she's just a brat."

Could this behavior be signalling something more serious?

Answer 1

It doesn't sound like autism, but it does sound like she may have other behavioral/emotional issues.

Answer 2

Get custody away from the mom,and limit the time with her to supervised visits.  Children learn by imitation.  Since she's picking up social skills, although really bad ones, may indicate that it is not autism.

Answer 3

No, it does not sound like she has autism. It sounds like she has emotional distress and possibly attachment issues most likely from being abandoned and treated horribly by the people who should love her the most (mom and dad).

And somebody needs to bring it to the attention of a doctor or therapist who can help her.

Answer 4

she's acting like a baby because she is being treated like one, a 2 year old who still takes a bottle?????

Answer 5

No its nothing more serious...this is a small child who has an extended family that loves her and cares for her...but her mommy doesn't really care.  She is acting out.  MAybe a child psychologist can help her past her anger.

Answer 6

First of all,.. you are a very kind aunt and thank goodness this innocent child at least have you and her grandparents.  Her behavior is not Autistic.. just the terrible 2s.

I have a toddler and "NO" is something we try not to use since it is a sure  trigger for a tantrum.  We often use distractions instead of directly saying no.  Also toddlers have zero patience and no idea about time so they always want instant gratification... so got to keep them occupied while waiting and give a lot of attention. They love/need to hear you talk to them and narrate what you are doing.  This is how they pick up words and learn to talk.

I understand why you are still giving her the bottle at night.  It is a soothing comforter for young children and she needs all the comforting in the world she can get.

I think what your niece really needs is stability and a warm loving environment.  Her mom's obvious lack of concern is making her very insecure and starved for loving attention.  Throwing a tantrum until 5am, while her Mom sleeps, is a good example of her very real need to get mom's loving attention.

Please ask your parents to talk to your sister about keeping away from her daughter if she can't behave like a mother.  This girl has been through enough turbulence so early in her life and her mother should know it very well.  Maybe your sister needs professional counseling to get her life back on track.

May good fortune bless her and your family and give her a loving home..!

Answer 7

More likely a side effect of having a mother call you a "f---ing brat."

edit: Oh wait, so it's the 2 year old asks, "What the f--- do you want?" You've got to be kidding. Who taught her to talk like that?

If she can say that, she ain't autistic. She needs a stable life.

Answer 8

Doesn't sound like autism. My step son is 7 years old and is autistic. this just sounds like a child who doesn't know how else to express herself with getting angry besides biting. I think it's the mother who needs help.

Answer 9

I would be concerned where a 2 year old is learning to say "what the f*** do you want?".

I worked with autistic children for several years and I now have 2 toddlers and I can tell you that the behaviours of autism frequently mimic toddlers. I cannot say that there isn't something going on, but from what you have written it sounds like she is frustrated and angry and acting out. 2 year old children often have limited communication skills (similar to those with Autism) which will definitely add to their frustration.

I don't think she is a "brat" it sounds like she is a very angry little girl that feels like she has not control so is taking where she can.

Parenting courses for her caregivers might help the situation if they are struggling, but it is never a bad idea to get advice from the doctor.  

Answer 10

It probably is not Autism. Though in a different set of circumstances, my daughter displayed the same behavior. It is her only way of letting you know that she is not feeling safe and secure. You might benefit from discussing her behavior with a child psychologist and reading up on positive reinforcement.  

Answer 11

Doesn't really sound like autism because she expresses herself emotionally very well.

I think that your niece needs boundaries - and yes she probably has a lot of confusion and is upset because of her family situation. Where did she learn "f----" ? I think you and your parents need to have a chat with her mother and set out some rules.