Could this be stressful for my baby?

Question

i have to drive 4 to5 hours to bring my baby to her fathers house and drop her for an over night stay ... she is s till nursing and does not like the ride ... She does not know him well .i havr offered for him to come and see her here or i would bring her to him where he works and he said no to both. its breaking my heart to think that he drives to work 1 hr from here and wants her to be in a car for his selfish reasons i will never know ... but i think it is unfair for her .. any suggestions please help

Answer 1

The father of  mine wont even look at her let alone even talk a picture. But i do thinks it unfair what he is doing to you and ur lil girl. He should come to you if he really cares enough

Answer 2

Don't take her!!!

Tell her dad that if he wants to be part of her daughter's life he has to make the effort to come see her. If it is "inconvenient" for him, too f***ing bad! She's a BABY, her needs are tantamount.

Unless there is a court order in place that requires you to drive, stay home and let him come to her.

Answer 3

Tell him if he wants to see her to come get her himself..if its that stressful for her to be in the car that long then make him come to her to see her.

Answer 4

This arrangement is more for his benefit than for yours or the baby's.  He's being enormously selfish.  This kind of driving occasionally isn't going to hurt the baby.  But, yeah, it's stressful to her.  And this is optional stress--because there are alternatives.  Is he holding child support hostage by making you do all the driving and will he cut her off from his presence in her life or financial help if you decide to refuse to keep this up?  Most of the time the non-custodial parent is the one who does the driving to pick up the child for visitation and brings the child home again.  Alot of parents work things out, though to be equitable to everyone, especially, the kids.  Shoot, if nothing else, he should be giving you extra money for gas if he's going to insist on this arrangement.  

Answer 5

i dont think that you should have to take your baby to see its father. he SHOULD be willing to come where the baby is comfortable. if he cant suck it up to see his daughter then why should you have to go through such a hassle for him!?

Answer 6

That is stressful... you know in most states they make the father come to the child... and many fathers I know were not allowed over night visits with their child until the child was over a year old (for nursing purposes) You shouldnt have to put in all this extra effort... he doesnt seem to know how much effort it is to get a baby ready to go into the car... then putting her in the car... and if shes like my child having to stop numerous times because they are crying! If he isnt willing to put any effort into seeing the baby... how much effort will he put into caring for her when shes there? Being a parent is learning to put your child needs infront of your own no matter what... Seriously if you took it to court they would make him come see you and MOST states wont allow over night visits for awhile until the baby gets used to him... babies can sense stress and if shes knows you are stressed about the drive and circumstances... she will be too... (besides all that driving... and not being around mommy... and not being used to her father...) I am sorry you are going through this!

Answer 7

Yeah, I agree that is a bit too much riding for the baby.  I would tell him that he needs to make the drive to see his baby, so it's easier for his child.  It's selfish of him to want things to be easier on HIM!!

Answer 8

Take it to your lawyer and explain that she has a really hard time with the drive and that she's still breast fed and it's traumatic for her to be gone and in a car for that long.  

Answer 9

your gonna spend most of your day (8-10 hrs) driving? if the father wanted to see the baby he could go see the baby. you don't have to take her. don't babies need to eat every 3 hrs or something? your gonna pull over for a feeding and diaper change during a car ride?  

Answer 10

Yes it could be. Some states have rights for babies who are breastfed. http://www.llli.org/Law/LawBills.html you can check and see what the laws are in your state.

Answer 11

If she is still nursing you don't HAVE to allow over night stays. Atleast that is how it is here. The court won't make you. If he wants to see her he should come and see her more often than weekends and want to be with her to make a connection with her so she is comfortable with him. also I doubt any court would make you drive so far, if nothing else they would make it where you met half way.  

Answer 12

I think that if he wants to see her he needs to go to her not her come to him.

I could be very confusing to her. he's selfish and you need to tell him straight up you need to come see her...I'm not bring her  to you if you anymore . If you want to see her so bad then you come to her.

Its hard now but hopefully it will get better for you AND her.