Could this really affect someone 20 years later?

Question

boyfriend was locked in a small closet repeatedly as a little boy by his stepfather. Was only let out a few times a day to use the bathroom and eat. Says it was dark and cramped and he would cry all day long. Remembers it in perfect detail even though it was 20 years ago and only lasted a week or so. (CPS intervened and he went to live with his real father) He has nightmares to this day about it. Can something like that really affect you so severely even 20 years later? How can he get past it?

Answer 1

Get help = It can last the rest of his life.

Answer 2

definately it can, everything that you've done or has gone on in your life can affect how you act. He needs to go to a Psychiatrist and talk to them about whats going on and ask for some help before it gets worse.  

Answer 3

yes it can. try to get him to open up to you about it n his feelings n stuff. oir get him to go to a shrink. n offer to go eith him if he needs it.

Answer 4

Obviously it was a really traumatic event in his life. Things like that can stay with you your entire life. I think he needs therapy to get over something like this. Even that may not completely help him.

Answer 5

Yes it can still effect him especially if he never talked or was evaluated by a psychologist about it.  He is suffering from PTSD it sounds like to me anyway.  He should see a psychologist if he wants to move past this.

A psychologist will talk to him and use different methods/ the best method for him to move on.  He or she will suggest activities and such to help him stop having nightmares.  Different psychologists have different methods. visit apa.org for more information on PTSD

Answer 6

God yes ! He should and needs to talk to someone about it that can help. Don't let him suffer an min. longer get that poor baby help.  

Answer 7

yes it can

Answer 8

Domestic violence affects a child's emotional, cognitive, social and behavioral development. Even after 20 years he can develop or already developed constant anxiety; guilt; fear of being abandoned; low self esteem; and difficulty interacting with others. I recommend he really seeks a psychiatrist

Answer 9

Yes, since it was traumatizing, it can still haunt him. I don't know how he can get past it; maybe think of the good times with his real father instead, after the incident. I mean, he should already know that his stepdad was not a pschologically sound person for doing this. So, he should just do other things before he goes to bed; if he's anxious or scared, he should read a book or listen to relaxing music etc, in order to have a more peaceful sleep, plus he might dream of the characters instead or someone better.

Answer 10

Because it happened when he was young,and he had a growing memory and mind, yes its not shocking that he still has nightmares to this day. He should probably see a psychologist if he already isnt seeing one. Talking about it with someone will help the most. Afterall, it was a fear when he was a little boy, and its stuck with him.

Answer 11

Absolutely.  Wanting to seek someone who is a non-biased individual to talk to about it (clergy or social worker, for example).  He seems to be talking about it now. He more than likely had assistance of some kind, when CPS intervened.  It will take its own time---your boyfriend shared a very traumatic thing from his past.  Just listen to him and treat him normally.

Drop suggesting the therapist, unless it becomes an issue that seriously effects his daily function through life.  If he doesn't want to go, he will not.  The only thing that they will do is offer suggestions to deal with the past.  They will sit there and listen. (post-traumatic syndrome is only successfully treated through talking it out--he is and has done that).  It will always be there in his past--look toward the future.

Answer 12

yes it can i feel bad for him

Answer 13

Yup. You'd be surprised of the ghosts people live with. Hes gotta be willing to change though, otherwise it sounds like he is pretty much resigned to things being the way they are. I think the effective way would be for him to start focusing more from when the CPS intervened and then he went to live with his father. Once his minds realizes that he was rescued from that trauma and that it will never happen again, he can start to heal. Also he could try going into enclosed places where it is dark and try spending the night in the company of somebody to realize that he cannot be harmed anymore.

The time will come for him to heal. Right now all you can do is be there for him. Understand what is going on and dont put too much pressure on him to seek help. When he is ready he will seek help.

Answer 14

Absolutely, this is called "classic conditioning", which is the short version and means that he reacts to what has happened to him repeatedly. This is unfortunate that this is how his formative years were spent. It will take a person of strong character to help some one with this problem if you do not learn about it.

Sorry to hear of such a terrible thing as this, I wish both of you the strength to walk down this road together.  

Answer 15

Yes, it can. He needs mental help. Consider a psychiatrist.  

Answer 16

oh yes psychology is a powerful thing.

Take him to a therapist. Talk to him and say "It's okay. It's over now. I'll take care of you"

Answer 17

it definetly can affect someone after that long of a period. The best way to rid of this torment is to talk to a therapist and have him replay the story to someone and they will help him realize it was not his fault because even though he may not think in his mind that it was, his body may feel that way and it is best to have him let go of the memory.

Answer 18

something as small as a butterfly could effect the rest of your life  

Answer 19

he is either lying or telling the truth so get him physhcitriast

Answer 20

He can absolutely be affected by that traumatic experience.  Traumatic experiences like that can cause posttraumatic stress disorder and if this disorder is never treated it can continue until it is.  Triggers can also cause him to break down or be reminded of the incident which can cause ptsd as well.  He needs to go to a therapist and work out the experience.

Answer 21

its trauma. which is usualy either blocked from memory or remembered in detail. children are sensitive to abuse and this can damage one's perspective later on in life. He would need to consult a profesional on how to resolve his trauma

Answer 22

Yes, it can affect him twenty years later. My brother is fifty-five and told me last night that my parent's not giving him a high school graduation dinner hurt him so badly it haunts him to this day, and he's still really angry about it and thinks about it all the time. Imagine what being locked in a closet could do to someone.  It is a very harsh thing that happened to your boyfriend and he needs to talk to a professional therapist about it.

Bad things that happen to little kids can stick with them if they don't deal with it, and they will have problems for the rest of their life sometimes if they don't talk it out and get help figuring out what to do with those memories, how to deal with it constructively.

  

Answer 23

Oh yeah.  Therapy seems like the only way I think.

EDIT:

There are things that some people can not open up about to people that are in their everyday life.  A therapist has a way of getting down to the root of everything and figuring out if and what happened to him is affecting him in his everyday life right now, and how to work on that.

I would really urge him to just try it out.  It couldn't hurt right?

Answer 24

Yes, some things can be embeded into our minds. He most likely will never forget, but there is some sort of therapy to get over it.