Could you HONESTLY date someone who had a great personality, but was not attractive?

Question

I hate to be shallow here, but I know I couldn't! Personality & Character matters a LOT to me, my bf has plenty enough to dish out for the both of us! Even though he has that, it wouldn't be enough if I didn't find him attractive, I think physical attraction, along with personality is key. When I get kissed I want my blood to be boiling and and my heart racing because of their looks and attractiveness, the lips are hot so I love kissing them. The 2 times I dated guys I didn't think were attractive, but had great personalities, I'd shrink away when they'd try to put their arm around me and avoid any physical situation. I had to end both of them within the 1st month and only be their friends.

So am I shallow, or do others agree?

Answer 1

You need mental, emotional, spiritual, AND physical attraction in a relationship. Without one, the relationship is bound to fail.

This also doesn't mean that you can't start off with someone you find less than attractive but grow to find them quite good looking.

Answer 2

You know, looks do not last forever. And as another poster said and accident can happen that take away that beauty. Plus the woman can get fat after her pregnancy.

So while looks is the first thing we look for (specially us men, its on our genetics), personality is the thing that will makes us last with a person.

Answer 3

When I first met my husband I thought he was funny looking but as I got to know him, he became handsome...I also once dated a man who to me was ugly but I loved him very much..he was quite a man..so YES...honestly I can...

Answer 4

Well there has to be  some chemistry.. if you are not attracted to a guy, its impossible to have a healthy relationship with him.. I have dated guys that i was attracted to but other ppl werent you have to remember that everyone has different taste..

Answer 5

what if...you just decide to be friends first?

and the more you hang out with him...the more ( for some reason) he seems attractive to you. his looks have not changed...just the way you see him has...

kind of like a beauty and the beast complex.

i wonder..if you would still not date him....

i wonder if anyone would do the same...

Answer 6

first i was like you

then

i got over that unattractiveness and notice all the good things

i don't care what people think anymore

Answer 7

Everyone is shallow to some extent.

I refuse to say you're wrong on this, considering a relationship cannot possibly be a good one without the physical attraction.

Some people just weren't meant to be with anyone, due to lack of physical appearance regardless how great of a personality they have. That's why i don't understand why some ugly people can stand to be nice people. Especially when i picture myself in their shoes.

Answer 8

my boyfried has an amazing body and personality he's cute but not gorgeous. i use to be like that but if you go for a guy that is drop dead HOT!!! just think of how many girls are going to think the  same thing and that is hard to deal with especially when it comes to trusting

Answer 9

no physical attraction and personality go hand in hand for me and if it does for you so be it.  hey you want to give your kids good genes dont you.

Answer 10

short answer... physical atttraction is lover maybe friend while no physical attraction but great personality is friend maybe lover.

Answer 11

So look at it from this point of view

If your "attractive" boyfriend was in a car wreck, or a fire......and he was left facially deformed.....would you end your relationship with him because he was no longer attractive?

Although I admit that I have to be physically attracted to someone....I have been in the position of meeting someone that I am not attracted to....and became friends with only....and then grew to find them very attractive because they have a great personality.

It happens

Answer 12

I've sometimes developed a physical attraction to someone after the emotional attraction came. But if it was absent even after that, I don't think I could make it.

Answer 13

Not shallow at all, everyone requires that physical attraction. It just depends on how picky you are, then you might be shallow.

Answer 14

to be honest...yea! but, im not very attractive myself...

personality is really all that matetrs to me.  if you love the inside, then you will love outside to!^^

Answer 15

Well.. I don't see how you can see someone with a great personality not attractive. What is your definition for "personality"?....

Anyway, I wouldn't date with a person who I'm not attracted to, because it will never work.

Answer 16

I couldn't date someone *I* didn't find attractive - but that's not the same thing as them being attractive, or conventionally attractive.  I have to fancy them physically, but that doesn't mean they have to be a six foot lumberjack with rippling muscles and a chiselled jaw!  :-)

Answer 17

There is a difference between attractive and s**y.  I don't necessarily need my man to be the traditional tall, dark and handsome but he's gotta turn me on.  And sometimes a guy will be "OK" looking but have a really great smile or s**y eyes.....I loooooove a man with mischief in his eyes..mmmmm.

Answer 18

I don't think it's shallow. Same thing with little c***s. Men need to know the truth. If a man has a little p***s then he matters well be a woman and compete with lesbians....FACT.

Answer 19

When you hit 50, and need a divorce lawyer I have some friends ...

However, when you change him out for the newer model, there's no guarantee that he won't stubbornly age just like husband #1.

Answer 20

My ex-girlfriend wasn't considered conventionally "attractive." A few of my friends were a bit confused as to why I fell in love with her. The truth is she is/was the cutest girl I've ever known. She is curious, intelligent, happy and healthy. I better stop before I call her... Gah I miss her. Attractiveness is relative. Surface beauty can be deceiving. There's an old expression, don't know how it went exactly... "the prettiest flowers make the least honey..."

Answer 21

i could if he was okay looking. but i could never date a goodlooking guy who has no personality, no matter how hot he was

Answer 22

I definitely agree with you- if the physical chemistry isn't there and I don't find them attractive, it won't work.

I don't think it's shallow, I think it's being human.

Answer 23

Looks fade

Personality stays!

Whislt it is nice to be with someone attractive, isnt it better to be with someone that you enjoy there company?

Answer 24

I did date a girl who when I initially met her I was not attracted to her. As I got to know her she became pretty hot.

And there is a difference from just meeting someone with a good personality and having a connection with a person.

Answer 25

Not attractive to who? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder....My husband while I find him attractive others may not....but I don't care because I love him....You'd be surprised..I know of a few people who date people that they feel others will find attractive...(trophy mate).....I won't lie...I have to find you at least somewhat attractive...but I certainly don't need a trophy!

Answer 26

Someone that has personality IS attractive, even if physically he is not an Adonis.

At first sight a man can seem not attractive, but with time and if he has the personality you like, you begin to find him more and more attractive.

Someone very beautiful physically but with no personality, becomes less and less attractive with time.

This applies to men and women.

Answer 27

Yes !  I  used  to  have  a  boyfriend  who  was  short  and  skinny,  and  he  looked  like  Wally  Cox,  but  I  ADORED  him  !

Answer 28

not shallow.

I wouldn't mind a great personality just average looking man, but very attractive and great personality is always good. if they just have personality but there was no physical connection maybe. neither absolutely not.

Answer 29

"When I get kissed I want my blood to be boiling and and my heart racing because of their looks and attractiveness"

You must be very unfulfilled

Answer 30

If you care about someone, they become attractive to you.  You see the inside, not the outside.

Answer 31

I would date someone just because of his personality. A guy who has a good personality and makes me feel good is the guy who I can  be with forever.