Could you ever forgive someone for raping you?

Question

i actually forgave them the day after (i love him in a friend way) but now an anger is starting to set in after five years. :/

what should i do?

Answer 1

that's hard I  am the type who forgives as well!

but i also forget... if you can't forget then i must say you didn't fully forgive!

hense why it's coming up after 5 years!

the past is in the past you can learn something from it!  but you can't let it run your life!

so even thought i say this now and if something happend i can't say 100% i would even follow my own advice!

but forgive and forget!

Answer 2

uummmm.....no

Answer 3

Yes, I forgave my uncle.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with forgiving but to never forget is what you need to remember.  You should not be having anything to do with this person.  You being around them and being friends with them is a constant reminder.  The older you get the more you will resent what happened to you when you were so young.  

Answer 5

i wouldn't ever forgive. in fact, i would attack them with a baseball bat.

Answer 6

No

Answer 7

nope i couldnt

Answer 8

what???????

are you ok? mentally and physically??

loved him in a friend way.. which means you went along with him attacking you?? is not call rape..

Answer 9

You're getting angry... You need closure.

My friend got raped, and her closure didn't occur until i told her that he could rape another child and she should go to the police!

Going to the police made her feel a tad better(i think) and now she's working through it with a psychiatrist.

She seems sooo much more content now that she's talking through it step by step with someone who's willing to take on the responsibility.

You where violated, and i think you have blocked it out in some way since it happened.

Answer 10

No.

It is probably too late to deal with it in a better way now. You should just minimize your suffering.

I suggest you to cut any relationship with him and to radically change (the place were you live and so on)

Meanwhile, if he is a member of your family or school or strict social environment, it is never too late and you need to ask for counsel and deal with it . You need to find a way to never have to deal with him again: he will be a constant menace for you

Answer 11

Well if he was a mental person and was crazy at the time,

or was drunk.

Or he realized what he did was wrong.

I would forgive, but NEVER forget.

But idk, because i dont know the whole story.

Answer 12

Forgive him, then take him to somewhere quiet and torture the

b*****d!!!

Answer 13

something should have been done to the man in the first place. you should inform the authorities. but it is important for you that you forgive him.

Matt. 18:21-35 speaks of how important forgiveness is and how you should forgive people over and over.  forgiving someone does not mean what they did was right, or ok, it just shows that YOU are not letting it control your life.

Mark 11:25 says "When you are praying, if you are angry with someone, forgive him so that your Father in heaven will also forgive your sins."

pray to the Lord that He can give you the strength to truly forgive him.  

Answer 14

I forgave my dog, not a human though

Answer 15

Holy ****. Don't talk to him ever again. I could never forgive someone for using my body against my will. I'm sorry you had to go through that.  

Answer 16

Wow - you're getting a lot of answers to this one.  And some of them are downright rude - I wouldn't appreciate being called stupid either.

I don't know if I could.  I'd like to believe I could, but I've never been in that situation, and I'm sure you understand when I say that I hope I'm never in that situation.

I can understand not knowing what to do, especially since you were nine at the time.  If anger is starting to set in, you should probably take some time out and think over the whole thing again.  It sounds like you forgave him as a reflex.  Go over it and see if you can forgive him as a considered, thought out response.  This might help with the anger.  You might have to confront him, or forgive him in person to help deal with it.  If you do, I'd suggest taking someone along who you trust, even though you consider him a friend, for emotional support.

Someone here suggested that you forget what happened.  I don't recommend this.  It obviously shouldn't occupy your thoughts at all times, but purposefully forgetting is called repression, and it generally doesn't last.  "Forgive and forget" is generally bad advice, especially if you will be in contact with him on a regular basis.  I'm not saying that he will re-commit, but he might, and it's good to be aware of that possibility.  Also, going through this experience has probably taught you some things, such as your ability to forgive and to pull through a difficult experience.  It would be a shame to lose that by forgetting what has happened.

If you continue having trouble with anger or otherwise dealing with the situation, I recommend the Broken Spirits Network (see link below), which is a network of people who have been through rape and/or abuse and who share their knowledge and experience.  They have been a great resource for me (I know some people who have been raped and abused), and they will most certainly welcome you.

Answer 17

HUNNAY YOU CAN NEVER FORGIVE ANYONE FOR RAPING YOU THE GUY THAT RAPED ME CANT WALK ANYMORE AND HE HAS SEEING PROBELMS AND SPEAKING PROBLEMS NOW SO NO YOU CAN NEVER FORGIVE THEM,,,,,AND I SEE HIM ALMOST EVERYDAY AND I DONT FEEL BAD ONE BIT

Answer 18

do not forgive him!!! sue him or sumthing

Answer 19

h**l no..he shouldve thought about being a friend before he raped you.

Answer 20

**** NO

Answer 21

ur friend raped you!?!??! wtf thats just wrong!!!

NO y the **** would u forgive them!?>

Answer 22

Yeah, I know.

Don't think about it. Don't let thoughts of it

creep into your mind, like late at night or

when you have free time.

There's nothing you can do to go back

and change it. This is where I disagree with

psychoanalysts. Some things are better

left alone away down there in the black

hole of our subconscious. If I kept thinking

about all the bad stuff my old man did to

me as a kid I would be a neurotic mess,

but I make the effort to change the thought

to something good if it pops up. We can

forgive, but our mind sometimes refuses

to forget. So we go on and love, laugh and

cry with the rest of life just as the flawed,

weak, sinful, yet wonderful beings we are.

God will sort it all out eventually.

Answer 23

It's very hard when you feel like you love your rapist. The best thing for you to do is get far away from him. Get therapy. Of coarse you're angry. You have every right to be mad.

He should be in jail. If not for rape then something else...you figure it out.

You are not dumb. Forgiving someone is to help you not for them. It helps you.

Up to 7 years on rape to file charges. I did it. It hurt, but I found peace in it after a while. I know I saved other little girls and that helps me sleep at night.

If you cannot talk to any one you know this org. helped me..

http://centers.rainn.org/

call them if you cannot make it in there

1-800-656-HOPE  even just to talk it out...

Answer 24

Well I would have never forgave them!!!!!   But because you have already forgave them Dont get too mad at them now!!! But I would tell him how you feel and maybe just...idk...tell them never to do that again...hope I helped!!!!!

:)

Answer 25

OF COURSE NOT. YOU NEED TO TELL THE POLICE/ THEY COULD BE RAPING SOMEONE RIGHT AS WE SPEAK. THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!