Could you give some criticism for this poem?

Question

Little Pieces

Tonight...

Stars and moon ask me

Dry your tears

Lets dancing at the sky

When I close my eyes

I can see a lot of little pieces

Flying from the darkest night

Drop out a million spirit

Touch the deepest of my heart

I'll be safe

I'll be happy

Cause I knew for sure

God never ever leave me alone

Answer 1

I think its great

Somethings need extra words but of course if you meant it like that you dont need them

Examples

stanza 1 line 4

Lets go dancing at the sky

and last stanza

God would never ever leave me alone

Answer 2

I think its very good. I like it, great job.=)

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