Could you help me to polish my composition?Thanks for your kind help!?

Question

There's a picture along with this composition,but i can't put it here,just help me to polish it in terms of vocabulary and expression mistakes!Thanks a lot!

The line chart above describes the gradually increasing trends regarding the number of visiters to and from UK

It can be clearly seen from the graph the tourists travelling to and from UK registered the figure of 10 million and around 12 million respectively in 1979,then they undergone a slight increase until to 20 million for British visitors going abroad and roughly 13 million for overseas visitors to the UK.From that moment on,there was a substancially growth in numbers for British tourists,hitting its highest point of 52 million in 1999,compared with their counerparts tho saw a steady rise to 28 million in 1999.

Thy accompanying table graph gives us details regarding the most popular countries for UK residents in 1999.Remarkably,France,followed by Spain were the most preferred destinations for them at around 12 million and 9 million respectively.By contrast,Turkey ,Greece,and USA were the least popular destination with fewer than 4 million was recorded.what remain remarkable was that the amount of people travelling to Turkey(about 1.5 million) was 10 times than that for France.

Answer 1

Some suggestions:

It can be clearly seen from this graph that the tourists traveling to and from the UK registered around 10 and 12 million, respectively, in the year 1979. They then underwent a slight increase, with 20 million British visitors going abroad, and roughly 13 million overseas visitors coming to the UK. From that moment on, there was a substantial growth in British tourists, reaching it's climax of 2 million in 1999, as compared to their counterparts, who saw a rise in the same year to 28 million.

The accompanying graph gives us details regarding the most popular countries amongst UK travelers in 1999. At the time, France was the most frequently preferred destination, with around 12 million UK tourists. Spain followed second, with 9 million. By contrast, Turkey, Greece, and the USA were remarkably unpopular, with fewer than 4 million UK travelers recorded. What confuses this otherwise straightforward answer, is that Turkey had about ten times the amount of tourists as France.

it would have been helpful to know the topic a little better. also, how could turkey possibly have more tourists than france? you also said it had less.