Could you or would you up and leave everything is your relationship wasn't going to well?

Question

I know somebody that she has been with the same guy for 5 years, it was a really good relationship in the first three years, 1 year of dating got engaged 2 weeks later found out they were pregnant, got married when she was six months pregnant, he worked she stayed home at home, she is not a great housekeeper, does laundry, and sometimes dishes small arguments between them over this issue and him always playing video games, well hurricane katrina happens she became sexually frustrated he wasn't in the mood for over a month he called her ugly she grabbed there 6 month old daughter and started walking she was going to head for the airport of course he stopped her and they worked things out. Well they got there own apartment relationship went back to normal, well they came into some money she wanted to invest but he wanted to buy a house so they did what he wanted because it wasn't worth the headaches in the relationship could of owned two condos out right and rented one out and stayed in the other I think that would have been smart, they were studio condos but she had drew out plans to turn them into three bedroom one baths condos. Well anyway right after they close on the house they find that she is pregnant. Well everything in there relationship is fine she still stays at home and he still works. Well during this pregnancy he called her names and started arguments and made her feel unattractive. She got a crush on her obgyn, and after the baby was 6 weeks old she asked her hubby for a divorce and told him she was in love with another man, they worked on there marriage duh because they are still married, but when the baby was 6 months old he choked her and she told him go ahead and kill her she was miserable being alive. She then asked for a divorce and he begged her to stay and promised it would never happen again was because what she had told him months prior and it built up and he burst, well she was fine with that or whatever, well i don't what happened but he has bunched her upside the head seems like for no reason at all, she can't remember why probably a stupid reason he doesn't remember doing it at all, he has swung his arm with a balled up fist and hit her in the armpit area. then for over a year nothing has happened, but latey he has been grabbing the back of her neck and her chin as to treat like a child when he is talking to her and he feels like she is ignoring him.

Question after hearing all this would you tell her to stay, leave, or work on her problems?

Answer 1

I would tell her to get out of the abusive relationship as soon as she could....

Answer 2

There is no reason to justify staying in a abusive relationship, she should leave as soon as possiable. Go to family, friends or the nearest shelter. Things will only get worse, till one day one of them will pay the ultimate price. The loss of life.

Answer 3

You can't advise her . She won't listen to you.  After all he has put her through she still stays with him.

I am not concerned for them but for the little ones.   She needs to get out for them !  

It is affecting their lives right now and will get worse when they are older. Not to mention the fact he may end up abusing them also.  

She had every opportunity to leave him.  Money, another man that loved her and she is smart.  

I stayed in an abusive relationship for 18 years.  If I had what she did I would have left him the minute I could have.

I feel sorry for the babies...  They deserve to have at least one parent that is responsible.  He isn't.....

Answer 4

I THINK THEY BOTH NEED TO FIND SOMEONE WHO THEY REALLY LOVE,,WHEN PEOPLE HURT THE ONES THEY SAY THEY LOVE,,ITS NOT LOVE,,,SHE NEEDS TO PACK HER BAGS N MOVE ON,,,HE NEEDS TO SEE A SHRINK,,N IM NOT MAKING FUN,,,HE REALLY NEEDS HELP.N ITS GOOD SHE KNOWS HOW HE REALLY IS NOW THAN TO WASTE ANYMORE TIME ON HIM,,,PEACE

Answer 5

My husband and I have been married for sixteen years, and at first in our marriage things were rough, and second of all, years into our marriage, things were going rough for us, and I lost all hope of my marriage that it would work out.

So, I left him, and packed up everything I had and my daughter, and we left, he was terrible, but when we left, I lived near my mother and filed for a legal separation and he was served.

He was miserable during that time, I let him have visitation with our daughter, because he loved her, but I felt that in order for us to be a family, he had to love me also.

And in time, during our separation he regained that love for the BOTH of us!!!!

It took time and many months for me to FINALLY let him back into MY life, but I did, you see, the separation worked, it helped us communicate and talk, and we even cried on each others shoulders.

For us, me leaving was the best decision I EVER made, now we, me, my daughter and my husband are a happy family.

If I did it before, I would do it again, for the happiness of my daughter and for me, God forbid that should happen.

But we are on 16 years of marriage and going through he** and high waters really helped us and our marriage and drew us closer than ever before.

Answer 6

I first would ask what woman in there right mind with this economy wouldn't be working? I then would ask is all this healthy for her and the children? I then would ask do she believe in Christ? I would then suggest with prayer and deep thought do what God's will would have you to do and not make an excuse and start thinking of her and the kids! Leave and get her life together without him....................

Answer 7

She should leav thats the best solution

Answer 8

I'd have never stuck around for the abuse...a guy takes a swing at me, that's it. Charges pressed and my azz would've been outta there (with the kid(s)).