Could you please comment on my poem? thankies=]?

Question

I never quite asked,

What was it that you wanted from me?

The smile, you only wished to destroy.

The innocence, you only wished to spoil.

Or…

This body, you only wished to own.

Locked away in the dark,

Surrounded by silence,

The pale moon is my only companion here.

Banished from the world of colour.

Thrown away from the world of scents.

Those are a luxury here.

I never learnt to hate before,

But when I met you,

There was no emotion stronger.

I think that you longed for that hatred.

That you enjoyed watching me feel.

That you found pleasure in the thought of my pain.

Did you ever think beyond this?

Did you ever question yourself?

Did you ever ask why?

Why you wanted no one else to touch me.

Why you wanted to keep me in this glass box,

Why you wanted to watch my every breath, my every movement.

Or did you already know?

And chose to throw that thought away

Answer 1

hmmmmm.

possible title: the glass box

i think maybe u shud have a stronger ending.

like a twist

or a shocking answer to all the questions

or sumthing

i absolutely loved your poem....however....when i finished reading I felt a little empty.

the beginning was a little stronger than the ending.

i was captivated by the beginning.

i give it a 9.

not quite perfect....

but the way you "worded your words" was intriguing.'

keep writing!!!!

ps. hope you weren't hurt by this person (emotionally)

Answer 2

it sounds like some one really hurt you.

Answer 3

Awww! Such a sad poem! I hope this really didn't happen to you unless this poem comes from your heart! I love this poem because of such deep meaning inside! Keep on writting!!!

I give you a 10!!! =]

Answer 4

I'll only comment on your poem if you promise to never say "thankies" ever again lol.

Reminds me a lot of what a good friend of mine is going through with her husband. Not bad, but not great either.

Answer 5

i like it