Could you please read this, I'm having problems at home.?

Question

This isn’t one of those “I’m so depressed” blogs/vlogs (just in need of a answer, thus YahooAnswers)I have never really liked my Dad, he is very manipulative, controlling, obsessive, arrogant and impossible is the word I describe him by, my parents are divorced and re-married so I can steer clear of my Dads of I wish by staying at my mums, I am 16 and maturing and am making my mind up on my father, he is the man if I do what I’m told, work and obey his stupid little irrational rules like 30minute internet sessions, doing work all Saturday, not being aloud to go out past 6, can’t have friends over, not being able to listen to music in the car, can’t hire R movies, no ice cream, no TV past dinner, doing all the dishes because I’m the oldest and not being aloud to talk back to him etc it goes on, like I said he is awesome and we get on well and he begins to ease up and just act completely different if I do what he says, but this is impossible in my opinion as I have my student, work and social life to mould – my Dads house is constantly full of yelling, shouting, swearing, manipulation, teasing, arguing, crying etc, my Dad has punched me in the face multiple times on several occasions, I have fought back and put him in his place so to speak but I’m not a “fighter” type of guy, I’m just a simple guy stuck with a impossible Dad, can you give me some ideas on what to do, I nearly started crying writing this as no one really understands me if you know what I mean.

Answer 1

Can't you try to just stay with your Mom till you're 18, then get to know your Father on a different basis?

Answer 2

You are in your teens now so this is the time of struggling to be independent.  From the description, your father can be nice when you do things as he instructed so he is not mad.  Well, some of the rules are quite ridiculous and you need to talk to him nicely of relaxing some of the rules.  If you yourself can't talk to him about the rules, get an adult more elder than your father for example your uncle (father's brother) to talk to him about relaxing some of the rules.  From what I see, he still loves you and is protective about you.  So you have to learn to show him that you are able to handle your own affairs for example, try to get a good grade in your studies so it can convince him gradually that you are able to handle your affairs.

Answer 3

Does your mom know how he treats you and has hit you before? If not I suggest telling her about it as soon as possible.  

Try talking to your dad about how he makes you feel. I know how everyone says that but I'm serious it helps.

I hope this helps.

Answer 4

i feel really bad for you, your dad obv has a problem ,however you're also a teenager, and parents and their kids can conflict at this time, i know i used to fight all the time with my mum, now we're best friends.  I dont think this will last forever for you , well i hope it doesnt, but maybe sit down and tell him how you feel or even talk to a close friends or relative, sorry to hear about this man, you'll pull through :)

Answer 5

golly...well...first of all...if he is punching you...you have the obligation to call the cops...he should not be punching you...spanking...fine...but punching...h**l NO...second of all...i'm only 19...and...well....i had very strict restrictions myself growing up...and i feel that my social life was definately not great as i grew up. However, this year...i moved out..."college" hahaha...and i'm great... I have not dealt with the swearing at home or manipulation or physical abuse...though i was hit with the broom from my father, really...there is nothing you can do about it...you just need to pray about it...find someone who you can talk to...keep doing as he demands....and when you're ready for college...MOVE AWAY...it's totally scary and don't let anyone tell you different...but it's worth it. I am so happy...and i'm home right now and things are great...i understand some of what you're going through with the irrational rules and such, but hang in there. Suicide and running away are not the answers. I'm sorry you're stuck in a dumb situation like that as i was....but...parents are different and seeing other friends with easy going parents is hard and frustrating, but there is nothing you can do really...but....seriously...call the cops or tell an adult you trust if he's really hurting you...seriously...if you want to email me..or IM...or facebook me...it's scoober1001

Answer 6

It is hard for you to live in a household like that if you are fed up you know what to do, just move on and settle in a hostel

Answer 7

So what is wrong??

your father sound like a reasonable man... the six at night is a bit harsh but overall you sound well taken care of.

You are sexteen you know a lot less than you think you do but a lot.. tell me if you feel this way when you pass thirty.

blood is thicker than water you may understand this some day if you do not blow to much on stupidity.

Answer 8

my dad died last august. i loved my dad but i didn't really like him. he loved me so much  and that was sort of the problem with me. anyways, you've only got one dad, so honor him. once he sees that you respect him, he'll respect you too. but one thing's for sure. never take him for granted. when he's gone, you'll realise why. then you'll have lots of regrets. take it from me. Just try to make things right with him. i hope all will be well soon for you. God bless.

Answer 9

First of all, he has no right to lay a hand on you.  That's abuse.  Also, it sounds like he has control issues.  As a parent, I would never dream of hitting my child, or belittling them in ANY way.  Good parenting is nuturing and love.  I had a bad dad too, he was an alcoholic abuser.  You know what helped?? When my dad said to me..."because I am an alcoholic, you have a 50% chance of growing up to be one too"  I looked him dead in the eye and said "Because you are an alcoholic...I will NEVER drink".  And I never did.  It was my way of showing that I CAN break the cycle of pain and abuse.  You are smart,  you will far surpass your father's shortcomings.

Answer 10

If your parents are not together then try to see if you can live with mom.

I went thru similar and all I could do was focus on my school work and read books. Focus on your education so that you can get a scholarship to go off to college.

Otherwise try to get a summer job and save money so you can get a car. Then keep working part time so that you can save money. Then by the time you graduate high school if you dont go off to college you can  move out and get your own place. Thats what I had to do endure it untill after I got my car then I was put out of the house for not following one of his rules. He would take 30 mins or longer to pick me up at night from work(1:30 am) but if I didnt come straight home from work I got in trouble if I took the same amount of time to get home even if I was ridding with someone else.

Just keep in mind that it wont go on forever.

Answer 11

ok well i h8 my dad on very many levels. so this time alst yr i dicided i wont ever talk to him again. i still havnt talked to him but no1 in the family backs me up.

dad now relises that i h8 him.

i told him that im going to sue him and that i h8 him so i think he gerts the point.

talk to your mum about it