Could you please tell me tomorrow's news?

Question

I already know today's and yesterday's.

Thank you very much.

Answer 1

Are you sitting down?

Tomorrows news: Gas prices are continuing to go higher.

Answer 2

Sure thing... the government have made another silly law to take away our rights, another kids going to get stabbed, a tax will be made higher - its the cigerettes turn now I think, and some scientists will discover that something ages the skin, pork maybe?

That seems to be what most days are like...

Answer 3

Tomorrow on this site poets will make us laugh, cry, reflect, write and wonder.  We will explore the Universe, speak of those we love and have loved and lost, laugh at funny rhymes, invent forms, cry at the problems of our fellow human beings. Tomorrow will be a day.

Answer 4

Yes, tomorrow there will be war, hunger, greed and (hopefully) lust...

Answer 5

Oil price edges down a bit. Darfur- few more die. Mugabe blames west for Zimbabwe's crisis.Etc.etc

Blue Kingfishers will fly past my window again.(but that's not news, sorry)

Answer 6

I don't know the specifics, but here's the general contents:

1.  a) Economy continues to decline, and any good news is really bad news.  

b) It's Bush's fault.

c) More government is the solution.

2.  Some movie star will be spotted doing something that ordinary people do every day, and this will be reported with much excitement.

3.  A new poll shows that it is a tight race between McCain and Obama (emphasizing the fact that it is crucial to staving off the Fall of Western Civilization that you vote for one of them, and not for a Third Party).