Could you rate my poem please?

Question

Hey, I just wrote a peom for this girl that I have feelings for. I'm 16 so dont judge me too hard. Thanks a lot, if you have any advice it would be greatly appriciated.

By My Side

Wish you were by my side,

What I would give for our worlds too collide,

If you were by my side,

I promise you,

We’d never divide,

Wish you were by my side,

I would push the world aside,

Just to see you smile,

Being with you is worthwhile,

When the day comes to an end,

I’ll wish that you are my girlfriend,

Keep you by my side,

Always showing pride,

With my head held high.

Answer 1

good job.

Answer 2

dude that was awesome i loved it, I'm a poet to, but mine suck, but i loved urs ^^

Answer 3

i'm about your age, and of course a girl, and i'm in love with you cuz u wrote that!! it is amazing!! can you email me when she reads it?!?!?

Answer 4

awww that's really sweet

I wish someone would give me something like this :)

I write poetry too

but mine's not that great and depressing

I think this poem would make a great song

good job

Answer 5

its a nice poem, but since i write myself...

since you started the first two stanzas with the same line, its only appropriate to start the third the same way

and not to mention, its a very kind of cliche type of poem, it rhymes easily and it doesnt have much depth, its the kind of love song you'd expect to hear in some lovey dovey movie, or something like that

dont get me wrong though. It's a really sweet poem, and i loved it by itself, just knowing the fact that it came from a young boy in love lol

i myself am 16 as well, and if i got that from someone regardless of any poetic editing, i would really appreciate it

its wonderful, she's a lucky girl

good luck!

Answer 6

Very good!  First of all for you to care enough to write something for her that's points right there.  Good luck.

Answer 7

Thanks everyone for the compliments and advice, I wrote another one but it was late and I was tired.. This is the one that I'm going to give to her. =)

Thanks again!

Answer 8

NiCe!!!!!111!!!!1

Answer 9

i love it!!!

Answer 10

for the line "being with you is worthwhile" how about instead, "it makes living worthwhile" its more dramatic sounding.

but besides that, i like it a lot :) its really really good ^ ^ keep writing. u got talent.

Answer 11

Not bad, but make it more romantic, but dude, that could get you a girl in a day or less. Keep it up, and look for mine.

Twiztidforlife says that can get you a babe, just it can be a girl or the actual pig.

Answer 12

3