Could you stop yourself from brainwashing your adopted child into your religion?

Question

Some agencies try to place children for adoption with parents who will agree to raise the child consistent with the child's orignial beliefs. If you were going to adopt a child formally from an atheist household, would you agree not to inflict your religion on him or her?

Answer 1

let the child continur his or her religion. i mean if the child is catholic, then don't do these against his religion, bring him or her to church. you wouldnt want the child to feel appreciated or not. and no i would not inflict my religion on him or her. best of luck

Answer 2

Just curious of where you received your information on the adoption process as far as religious beliefs were concerned? I had never heard that before is all....interesting!

Answer 3

Absolutely not!  Once you adopt a child, you become their parent responsible for their health and well-being, education, medical, nutrition and all other decisions . . .including the right to raise (not brainwash) but raise your child in the religion you see fit for your family values.

Answer 4

Religion is so ingrained in culture.  Children tend to grow up practicing the religion of the family and community in which they live, whether adopted or biological.  So, in that sense, you could call it "brainwashing" for any child.  I think if a child is adopted interculturally, then this is one of the losses they likely experience, the religion of their original culture.  It is unlikely that they would have a chance to practice the religion of their original culture.  I do think adoptive parents  have an obligation to expose their child to the religion of their original culture.  As an adoptive parent in the international adoption "community", I have seen many adoptive parents have a religious motivation to "save" children and it really makes me sad.

Answer 5

doubt it, i've been brainwashing my daughter as a follower of Christ since she was born. i imagine if i adopt i will do the same thing. I doubt an atheist household would be willing to let us adopt their child anyway with my husband being a minister :)

Answer 6

I don't believe in organized religion...just look at all the problems it has caused world wide.  A child's beliefs will be respected as long as they involve treating other human beings with decency and respect. They will be respected if they agree to study the Bible with us and learn from it.   If that can be done within the parameters of your religion, I will have no problem with whatever practice is chosen.  Otherwise, I would say that maybe this would not be the best placement for that child.

Answer 7

No--I would want to retain the freedom to have my own family values. ***Remember this might apply to many lifestyle issues like Vegetarians, or single parenting, or same s*x parenting issues Not just religion***

I would not accept these terms in the first place and look for a situation that would not place me in a moral dilemma. It's wrong to agree to anything you know you can't maintain so if you can't it is better to say so up front.

*** Many adoptive parents are asked lifestyle, religious and moral questions. Most important are the answers when an older child is adopted. Our children were involved in a church while in foster care, it was different--way different than our church, but because our daughter was doing well, and enjoyed the program we continued her in a church near us and supported the program. It not only didn't harm anyone, but it added continuity to the transition...

Answer 8

When a family adopts older children, they need to realize that they aren't "clean slates".  My children were adopted at ages 5 and 10, from a country with pretty much an even split between Christians and Muslims.  We did not know until shortly before travelling that our children were Christians and their parents were Christians.  But if they were Muslim, we were prepared to contact our local mosque for guidance and to facilitate their participation in their religion.  

Adopting children at birth, however, I think having the same expectations about religious participation as any biological children in the household.  For most infant adoptions, I think this is often discussed in the pre-adoption stage.  If it becomes a huge sticking point between the birthfamily and adoptive family, maybe it isn't a good match.  But I agree with the poster that said this can apply to a lot of lifestyle issues (vegetarian diet, political beliefs, etc.  Not just religion).

By the way, it's pretty obvious what you feel about religion.  If you adopted a child from a Christian family, would you refrain from brainwashing the child toward atheism and not inflict your non-religion on him/her?

Fair question.

Answer 9

Your question clearly is biased from the start.  

Not all families who introduce and encourage going to church or exploring spirituality are 'brainwashing' their kids.  Some people feel that their children's spiritual health is as vital, if not more so, than their physical health, and that it's their jobs as parents to expose their children to religion- as an act of love and caretaking, not of repression.

As for agencies who encourage the parents, well- the birthparent had some say in that, too.  For example, Catholic agencies are usually serving Catholic birthmoms as well as Catholic adoptive families.  

No one can 'make' another person believe something.  The person still chooses whether or not to join the religion.  I was raised Catholic, but never 'believed' it or considered myself Catholic.  I did, however, respect my mother's wish for me to go.  And I do now appreciate my mother for that, but I'm still not Catholic.

Answer 10

hmm.. my child, my home, my rules.. AT least until my child is an adult and decides for him/ her self..

Answer 11

children are raised in our home, and that means going to church with us- however when they are old enough to make up their own mind, they can.

I could ask the same question, if you are not religious , do you give your child free reign to chose what they desire?

Answer 12

I wouldn't be comfortable raising a child in that fashion so I would not agree to adopt a child under these circumstances.  That being said, I'm sure there are plenty of prospective aparents out there who have the same feelings and I would think that the first parents would chose someone close to their own beliefs.

Answer 13

raising a child, adopted or biological, by your beliefs and convictions isn't brainwashing, its called raising a child.  Everyone has a choice, and just because you were taught certain things by your parents doesn't mean you are still going to believe them when you are an adult.  A good example would be someone raised by an abusive, alcoholic parent that grows up, has a family of their own and raises them with totally different methods than they were raised.  Like I said before, we all have the choice to believe what we wish, and brainwashing is really a unmeaningful word.  If you believe what you have been taught its because you choose to believe it, not because you were forced to believe it.

And if someone is so concerned about what their child may be taught if they let them be adopted then they should just keep the child themselves to make sure that they can try to force their own beliefs on the child, and not someone else.

Answer 14

If I agreed to adopt the child under the conditions you describe, then it would be wrong to renege on the promise.  It has less to do with the religion part, and more to do with promise.

However, I do feel that if I adopt a child, that child is just like my biological children.  If I am religious, then I am free to raise them in that religion.  That does assume that the child is young and does not already have established beliefs.  If they  are older and do have established beliefs, I might try to accommodate them, depending on the situation.

Answer 15

No I’d raise the child in my faith, and when they were older they could decided if they wanted to continue that faith , pick another faith or not be religious at all.  I would also think that if birthparents wanted their child to be adopted by a specific religion or non religious family they would only pick parents that fit their criteria.  

So if any atheist parents wanted their baby to be adopted by atheists and not Christians or Some other religions then they would pick an  atheist couple.  Even that  does not mean the child wouldn’t one day decided that he wants to follow say Judaism. Or  if a Catholic mother wants a Catholic family to adopt her baby, does not many that the child will never decided to convert to Lutheran, Baptist, Mormon , Muslim, Wicaan etc.

Answer 16

Sorry, Torry, but no child is born with beliefs.  Those are encouraged, modeled, taught or not taught, by our parents and others around us.  At some point, we as older children or adults, decide to continue those belief, or not.  

Inflict?  Brainwash?  No more so than any parent in any family.  There is no difference.  It is not up to the adoptive family to try and replicate everything that the birth family was about.  Some things are honored.  Some things are continued.  Some things are not.

Answer 17

how would it be brainwashing??????? beliefs are just that beliefs you cant make someone believe exactly what you want them too.

and since you are clearly trying to start an argument why dont you go to a different section. as the pregnancy section is not appropriate.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 18

No; I would not agree to that.  If that was a condition for the adoption, I would remove myself from that particular adoption scenario.

I also do not feel that practicing religion is "brainwashing".  As a parent, it is my responsibility to provide my child with the fundamentals of religion and faith so that when he becomes an adult, he can make the decisions he wants for himself.  It is the same with education...Just because my son's bio parents may have felt that education was not important and were high school drop-outs, I would not allow my son to simply drop out of school because that is what his bio mother or father did.  It is my responsibility to insure he is provided with an education.  The same holds true for faith and religion in my book.  If he makes an adult decision to change religions or become an atheist, then I will respect that and love him the same.  But as long as he is a minor child, it is my responsibility to insure he is educated in school and in the ways of religion.

Answer 19

I'm an atheist.  My biological son has decided that he believes in God.  I don't attempt to dissuade him in the least.  It's not my place.

Why?  If my objections to being "preached to" are to have ANY moral basis, I certainly can't do it to my son.  If he asks a question, I'll answer it.  That even extends to tenets of Christianity.  If he wants knowledge about any nondestructive topic, no problem.

Answer 20

No child, regardless of whether adopted or not, should be forced to follow their parents' beliefs.  Allow the child to choose their own path.