Could you trust your husband after this?

Question

My father just told me that my husband purchased cocaine two weeks ago. I don't know what to do.

My father is a functional addict and has access to cocaine all the time. We know this. He's being doing it since I can remember.

As for my husband, I am totally in shock, as he has not appeared to have been under the influence of cocaine. He does have mood swings, but he's had those since i've known him. I do not think he is a regular user at all, but I am in shock he would hide this from me and bring this into our home and keep secrets from me. Now, I don't know what else he's hiding and now I feel like I can't trust him.

Answer 1

Trust is a big issue in a relationship, even though you have known your dad to do drugs, its dfferent when your own husband is doing it. This must be extremely hard for you.  I think you should speak to your husband and express your feelings and worries.  Good Luck. I will have you in my prayers.  

Answer 2

well to be honest with you well if he did do that he can hide some other things specially cocaine u just never know and why get it from his father in law shouldn't that be embarrassing to him .

Answer 3

WOW!  Your dad sold it to him?  Your father knowing that you would disapprove of your husband doing coke actually hooked him up?  GEE THANKS DAD!!    Your right if he is hiding this from you then who knows what else he is capable of.  I would talk to your husband and tell him that your dad told you what he did and see if he comes clean about buying it.  I have a hard time believing that this is your husbands FIRST time with coke!  Maybe he has done coke since you met him so to you the mood swings are "Normal."  As for your Dad I am sorry you had to grow up in that situation your dad thinks that it is ok to NOW s***w up your life and turn your husband into a functioning coke head like he is.... NICE.  Your dad needs to be put in his place, he is not only an addict but he is a drug dealer ruining lives!  How it that considered "functioning?"  Good luck hon!!

Answer 4

You need to confront him.  

If he denies it, turn that house upside down until you find evidence or a lack of it.  

If he acknowledges it, then you move out.  Not only would you be aiding him in his addiction, but you'd also be an accomplice whether or not you use, when the cops come knocking on your door.  Do you REALLY want a rap sheet for something stupid someone else is doing??

Answer 5

Yeah, I think he ruined your trust. It's time to find out what's really going on. Tell your dad (if he is supplying him) to jump off a cliff.  

Answer 6

Mood swings is a big tip off.

Also, you cannot trust a drug user.  They will do and/or say anything to get their drug.

Answer 7

I don't know your husband, but if it were mine, I would ask him and expect a reasonable explanation.  If the explanation wasn't reasonable, then I would have trouble with the whole trust issue.

Answer 8

yeah you need to have a serious talk asap

Answer 9

I couldn't trust him... sorry. He not only lied and hid something, but something major. Think about the full aspect of this... If the cops get wind of it, they could take your home, or any other valuable asset. He should realize what he is doing as well. He isn't just ruining his own life, but those around him too.

Have you talked to him about it yet?

Answer 10

A discussion (rational I may add) is in order with hubby.

Your father is a worm. Just what did he think he'd accomplish by telling you this? other than maybe hubby wouldn't give him a toot for the snoot from his purchase. And junkies all being rats (they make the best informants you know because they work for peanuts and take the money given them to buy dope or work off court cases) he had some reason.

Oh...and I'm willing to bet it wasn't because he's concerned for you and has your best interests in mind. Maybe Dad set up the deal so your hubby could score perhaps?

So your dad really didn't do you any great favors other than bring something to your attention that you most certainly want to look into.

I'd ask hubby and say "My father mentioned this to me". In addition be calm and methodical. If he has a problem you'll want to first lend support and find out why he chose to to this. becoming hysetrical and tossing out the 'trust' issue will do you no good and he'll only clam up. If you want to keep the trust thing going ask him like an adult and deleve into it slowly.

I hope that you'll get the answers you're seeking and find this was a one time thing and not the start of something bad.

Good luck to you.

Answer 11

I think the answer to your questions depends on the answer he give you after you ask him if is true or not...which i believe is true because i don't think your father would lie to you....but I think that regardless of what he has to say he has definitely cross boundaries and he is not being 100% honest with you...

Answer 12

Why don't you ask him.  I know it is hard and a fight will insure, but if you know you should let him know.  Maybe it was all in your fathers mind and a case of mistaken identity!