Counselor being unprofessional?

Question

i left the counselor's office the other day feeling worse than i felt when i went in. it was the second time i went and he said some questioning things the first time, but i let them slide and went for the second time. note:the things i am going for have nothing to do with s*x with my husband or how good i look. i am not an assertive person as much as i wish i was. i am actually kind of shy and not into starting things. to the point--- he started saying it was out of context for him to say but i was VERY (stressed) gorgeous and every man would want someone as tall, beautiful skin, and features as me. he then said that i could make a preacher leave his wife. then he started asking what kind of guys i go for (knowing i am married) and before i could say anything he said, "like me? or different?" i was shocked! then he asked if i enjoyed s*x with my husband and if we got wild and tried different positions. he then asked if i thought of other guys while having s*x. i just don't understand how this played into depression. he kept mentioning this has nothing to do with his practice but.... and then going on to say these comments. i am really discouraged and don't feel good about ever going to another counselor. i left feeling yuck. i am so confused and blown away.

Answer 1

Find a new counselor.  Stop seeing this one immediately.  Try a woman this time.

Answer 2

You are such a liar, I didn't say those things.  I was talking to my secretary using bluetooth.

Answer 3

Agree, find a new therapist....try a female.  It's hard to judge what went on, as sometimes clients will exaggerate/misinterpret what is said to them (part of the problems they are dealing with) but in this case, since you just started, find someone new.  Good luck!  (psychologist)

Answer 4

He's breaking one of the psychological standards by coming on to a patient. You could get his license taken away if you so choose.

Answer 5

Definitely unprofessional and sickening. DO NOT go to him again. Maybe you will feel more comfortable with a female counselor...don't be discouraged. I would call around or search the web on other counselors in your area or maybe ask a friend if they can refer one. Hope this helps and I wish you the best.

Answer 6

Did you really need anyone to answer this question

Answer 7

If the events occurred as you described, I'd say it is time to shop for a different therapist.  

You have no obligation to keep seeing him if he is giving you the creeps.  Finding a good therapist requires shopping around for the best fit and trusting your gut.  If you are getting bad vibes, don't waste your time.  

Answer 8

sounds  like your sexually uptight try having s*x with someone  maybe your counselor

Answer 9

I would report him for sexual harrassment to be honest.  What he did is ethically wrong.  Good luck!!

Answer 10

As mentioned before, find a new counselor. Also, since his interest were unprofessional, you could file a complaint with your State's Medical Licensing Board (check government section of white pages) to his unprofessional conduct, and they will look into it. If nothing else, it will be on record in case he tries this with someone else, and may eventually lose his license to practice therapy. By the way, does he even have a degree in psychology or therapy?

Answer 11

This guy is a predator.  You should defiantly report his behavior.  He’s probably preying on women who he figures are too timid to “do” anything about it.  Not going to see him anymore is likely the most he expects, and wouldn’t hurt him one bit, he’ll just move on to the next woman he’s intending to victimize.  Meanwhile, you are left with the “yuck, sick, blown away” feelings.

You’ve described yourself as “not an assertive person as much as i wish i was. i am actually kind of shy and not into starting things.”  In his sick mind, he probably thinks he’s doing you and ever other woman he’s pulled this c**p with a favor.  Being a counselor, he is abusing his position of power with a person who is taking a risk and allowing themselves to be vulnerable.  You should stand up to him and not stand for it.  What is worse, if he is part of a practice or program, he might not be the only counselor who is taking advantage of the insecurities of the women seeking their help.

Think about it…then do something about it other than run away.  DO something for your self esteem, empower yourself and hopefully those around you.  Go with the confidence that you are taking a stand against what is fundamentally wrong.

Answer 12

Holy c**p.

This is one of the biggest reasons why counselors get censured. You owe it to yourself and to other clients to turn this guy in. Google the state you are in. He has a license. Make a complaint.

Also, get another counselor. Please don't give up on counseling. I am a Psychotherapist and I want to apologize for the actions of this pervert.

Also, with your new counselor bring this up with them. You can also contact your insurance company and let them know.

Good luck.