Couples, how do you deal with $ matters if you both work?

Question

Do you share a bank account or do you each have your own account and share the bills? How do you decide who pays what and how do you share the grocery bills? No children. Any suggestions on what works for you so there are no arguments as to how the $ is spent? Lots of details please.

Thanks for helping!

Answer 1

The best way to keep a happy home is to put all money in one account. Who ever is the most responsible handles the paying of the bills.  As a couple you should sit down once a week or so and go over your bills.

One big thing to watch out for is using the debit card.

If you are married it is not his money and her money.  It is "our" money.  Agree on a certain amount (say $100) anything over that you need to discuss wha it is and do you need it and can you afford it. Under that you can buy it.

Do you have a budget to work from?  How much is rent, groceries, car payments, insurance, electric, phones, credit card payments (eliminate asap) etc.  Now you know how much you have to work with.  Also start saving for emergencies even if it is only $20 a week.  Put in savings.  

If you are not married you should not be living together and should not be sharing a checking account.

Answer 2

One account is best.  Multiple accounts = distrust.

I created an Excel sheet to list my expenses/budget/income and such.  It helps.

Give each of you an allowance of $x*x.xx amount you can use each month to buy personal items.. if you do not use this amount, it can carry over to the next month.  If you use it, no digging in the savings account to get more.  

Set budgets, and stick to them.

The only way to know for sure is to track your expenses by painstakingly entering them somewhere.

Wellsfargo online banking is pretty good at detailing what you've purchased and organizes it into different categories for you.

Answer 3

I think a joint bank account and credit cards is a very romantic idea, impractical in the extreme, but romantic none the less.

When we first set up house together my wife and I shared our finances, this led to all sorts of trouble and strife (ever have trouble keeping track of your bank balance? Try it when someone else is using the account).

We now have our personal finances completely seperate. Different bank accounts, different credit cards, different lines of credit.

We make approximately the same level of income so we've divided the expenses 50/50. I pay the mortgage, she pays daycare, I pay the car insurance and she pays the hydro, I pay the house insurance, she pays the water bill, I fuel and maintain the car, she buys the groceries. We each pay our own credit cards, but if one isn't able to pay them off in a timely manner we tag-team it.

I save for emergencies and renovations, she saves for vacations, we both save for retirement. You get the idea.

It's not always equal, but we're not an accounting firm, if she's short she asks me to help and vice versa, it's not a contest and there are no winners or losers in this game. If we feel one is contributing more than the other then we sit down and do the numbers and redistribute a bit.

The problem with joint finances, in my humble opinion, is that when money gets a little tight we tend to view our own expenditures as justified (we made them after all) and expect our partner to justify their spending to us.

I'm sure some couples do fine with shared finances, it's just that we don't.