Cousin just announced engagement and wedding same year as me.

Question

A female cousin who is a little older then me just announced she is engaged. She's also having a 2010 wedding same as me.

I don't know if she will be flying home to her home province to get married or marry where she is living.

I'm planning on getting married October 2010, and I am a little worried that family members won't come to my wedding because they have to spend money to go to her's. Or that guests will decide to come to my wedding but not her's.

We both have our reasons for 2010 weddings. Her fiance's father is out of the country most of 2009. For me my brother is over seas with the army for a good bit of 2009 and we want to pay for our own wedding so it will take about 2 years to save up.

Should I call her up and find out what dates she's considering? What do I do if she is planning to have hers close to my wedding date?

Answer 1

I would just call her and ask her. Be honest about your concerns. there are 12 months in a year, plenty of time for two beautiful weddings!  

Answer 2

One of my cousins got married 2 months after me.  All the family showed up to both weddings because we are both equally important to them.  If they want to attend both they will find a way.  Be excited for her and she should be excited for you.  My cousin helped me with some set up on the wedding day and I did her make up and some of her bridesmaids and her mothers make up in return.

Answer 3

Don't stress.  Everything will work out fine.  If you have guests that can't attend yours because they attended hers - it will save you money (and since you're paying for it, that's a good thing!)  I'm sure the people that mean most to you will be there - and that is what matters most of all!  Have a beautiful wedding.

Answer 4

I can definately see the concern.  However, i think you should call her up and talk with her about you guys wedding plans.  See what you both have in mind.  If there are a lot of similarities, maybe you guys can have a double wedding.  I went to a double wedding once, and let me tell you.......UNIQUE is all i can say.  I

Answer 5

Call her to congratulate her if you haven't done so already. Then you can ask her when she is thinking about having her wedding. It is a perfectly reasonable question to ask. Maybe you guys could work something out or arrange it so it is equally plausible for all family members to make it to both weddings.

As for people going to your wedding - just know that the people who are important are going to be there for you on your day.

If you are truly worried about it being a problem then send out save the date cards. This way you are giving people a good heads up. Call friends and family members now and let them know about your plans to wed in October...once you have a specific date then you can send out the save the date cards.

Don't worry - it will all work out the way that it's supposed to.  

Answer 6

I don't see a problem here..are you two on good terms? if so give a call and engage her in wedding talk...see what month she has in mind, and suggest she sets a date with at least a three month gap in between both weddings, either before or after...if she has plans to marry on a closer date, drop it. Nothing you can do, and you both get only one day, not the entire month, or even the week (altho you should have the week for pre-wedding celebrations) Don't expect the other be part of the other's bridal party as each of you need to concentrate on your own weddings....and altho some guests may decide to pick one or the other, most won't...and you two only share half the guest list anyway unless both your fiances are related. Good luck.

Answer 7

The same year? Well sound the alarms.

Really, it will be fine. Your guests have plenty of notice, most of them will probably attend both events. And I doubt your cousin will plan her wedding close to yours! Just make her aware of your wedding date so she knows as she starts planning.  

Answer 8

UM YES!! You definitely should call her up and ask her. It would be so unfair if both weddings were near each other and also you announced your wedding in 2010 first. Although there's no competition you guys should discuss dates and availability just to make sure you're on the same page so there aren't any confusions later on. During the discussion you should stress the dates being too close together, that would be so selfish to take away from your wedding. I think if you're having a wedding in October she should have her's around Spring. It gives everyone time to save up and attend without rushing to attend both. Best of Luck!

Answer 9

Well, it probably is a good idea to space both weddings out as much as possible to accomodate everyone who has to travel twice in that year. It's going to be very difficult for most people, but it will also help you save by not having so many guests there. You should definitely sit down and talk with your cousin. You may even be able to save more money by using the same vendors if both brides are willing to do that. Good luck!

Answer 10

call her and talk to her, you dont know which size she plan or anything, it cant hurt for the two of you regardless of all cooperating some to make this flow easily

for all you know she is planing a small intimate family wedding and regardless of timing wont be an issue at all for yours

Answer 11

Just call her, congratulate her, and tell her that your considering October, but now that she is getting married the same year, it would probably be best for family if you coordinated a bit as to not over-tax them financially.

Hopefully, she'll be reasonable and agree.

If not, bust your butt, and get out Save the Date cards first. :)

Answer 12

Gee, so far away! Well, if you have your date set and church/minister booked, so it's all done - then, sure call her and tell her your date. There's nothing wrong with cousins getting married the same year, but it's nice for the family's sake to have them a few months apart.

If they happen to be closer, well, them's the breaks! I'd have a simpler, less costly wedding next summer, anyway if I were in your shoes!

Answer 13

I really dont think its a huge deal.  I mean other people you plan to invite probably have other weddings to go to in 2010 apart from yours as well. with as much notice as you have of your wedding date, people have plenty of time to save up to attend the wedding.  just let family know ahead of time the date of your wedding and I'm sure they will make arrangements.  If you want to call her and ask her when she is planning it for then thats fine.  your family...family talks about that kind of thing.  If however hers if planned near the end of the year like yours there really isnt anything you can do.  you dont own the rights to 2010 for a wedding and she can marry when she wants.  if she is a good person though and knows the date of your wedding then I'm sure she would plan eitther ahead of your date a few months or after.

Answer 14

See if she has a month in mind.  If hers is, say, April or May, then go with yours in October....that is a full six months between weddings.  No big deal for the relatives involved.

If hers is going to be in September, then you may have a problem IF you have lots of family that will need to choose between the two weddings.  Usually, though, this is not a problem in families.  There may be a few who cannot afford to go to both, but you will still have lots of guests.

Answer 15

My cousin announced her date first, for October and even though it was the exact date I wanted, I made sure to not step on toes and had a May wedding instead. Call her just to make sure that the two of you can work together to make the dates and arrangements with your guests in mind.