Cover letter need help please!!!!!!!!?

Question

could someone read my cover letter.

I am very interested in the opportunity to join your organization. I was excited to hear about the new location opening in Milton. A position at The Beer Store will provide me with the opportunity to directly apply the knowledge and skills I have gained from previous work experience. The skills and experience I have gained from Molson Canada would be an asset to your organization.

I am confident that my abilities and experience would make me an ideal candidate for a position at your company. With my past experience, I have developed my communication and customer service skills. I also have very strong computer skills, which would be an asset to your company.

This opportunity to contribute to one of Canada’s leading organizations holds a strong appeal to me. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to the opportunity to meet with you in the near future to discuss how I can add to the team at The Beer Store.

Answer 1

Good job!  Much better then your posting of last week.  You discussed how you could help them and related it to your experience.  Way to go!

Answer 2

Here are some optional changes:

I was excited to hear about your new location opening in Milton as I have been very interested in joining the Beer Store team for quite some time.   As you can see from my resume, the experience I gained during my time with Molson Canada would allow me to make an immediate positive contribution to your company.  I look forward to not only  bringing my familiarity with our industry to my work at the Beer Store, but  also the communications, strong computer and customer service skills I honed while at Molson.

This opportunity to contribute to one of Canada’s leading organizations holds a strong appeal to me. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to the opportunity to meet with you to discuss how I can help make the Beer Store and even greater company.  I am available to speak with you any day this week between the hours of 3-5 pm.

Of course you could go with a more direct approach like:

I saw you were currently adding to the Beer Store team.  I have communications, computer and customer service skills I picked up while working for Molson Canada. I would like speak with you Monday or Tuesday about how I can use those skills to make an immediate positive impact at the Beer Store.  I will call your assistant shortly to schedule a time for us to speak.

Thanks for your time,

Me.

Answer 3

It's decent, but i personally feel it's too long...if you can condense all the strong points into one paragraph you'd be better off...remember less is more.  Things like "with my past experience" you can take out, because it's already a given your developement of your communication and customer service skills are from experience...just little things like that can make this a stronger cover letter

Answer 4

It sounds pretty good.  Also, of course, your resume is important.  Make sure all minor, unimportant thigs are taken off, and that it is not too long.