Cps took my kids away 15 months ago (physical abuse they claim) and I'm running out of time to get them back

Question

What things can I say to the social worker to get her to give them back? How can I act with my kids and the visitation worker to get him to tell the social worker I'm doing ok?

Answer 1

Not to be mean, but can they prove the claim of abuse? Meaning was there something that you did, that caused them to take the kids in the first place?  In order for the court to termanite parental rights they have to prove that you are unfit. Which if they are claiming abuse, that is a very big thing! I really can't say what to do on your end because I don;t know the whole story. Whatever it is, please be truthful to your children.

Answer 2

I am familiar with a similar case, and my big question is "what have you been doing for the last 15 months?"

In our case, the mother basically did nothing for the first year after her kids were taken away.  She missed appointments with CPS and visits with the kids.  She refused to attend the classes and refused to listen to her CPS caseworker and volunteer guardian.  She violated court orders concerning contact with the kids and missed her scheduled drug tests.  Then, after a year, she realized she was about to lose the kids and she began to make a last ditch effort to correct her mistakes... but it was too late.  All the judge, attorney, and CPS could see was all those months of non-compliance and non-action.    

The state very much wants to keep families together and you really have to s***w up to not get your kids back.  So, if you are still struggling to get them back I cannot help feel that you may have missed your opportunity; and, perhaps the kids are better of where they are.  You had over a year to get your life together.  

However, CPS does s***w up, if you honestly feel you have a case, then get an attorney.  They will be able to give you an assessment of your chances of getting back the kids.  And, if CPS is in error, they will help you correct that error.

Answer 3

Actions speak louder than words. Hopefully your actions will get your kids back. Next you'll will have to win the trust of your kids back too.

Answer 4

Hi, May I ask if they say you physically abused your children, and you claim this is false why would they get that impression? (I am not trying to be rude, I'm just curious) Best thing to do is to be yourself. Not make false impressions to get your kids. Consider if you have a stable home for them they want to be in and if you can financially support them. Maybe you should consider what is best for your kids.

Good luck

Hope this has helped.

Answer 5

Tell it like it is. And ask for any resources that might aid you in being a better parent/person. I'll say a prayer for you.

Answer 6

My daughter was taken away because of allegations of child abuse.  I tried and tried to tell DHR that the person who reported me was lieing.  Of course, DHR wasn't going to believe me.  They believed who made the call.  I was ordered to take anger management and parenting classes.  When I was told to do this, I called THAT DAY and got them set up.  I wasn't going to hum-ho around.  I was also ordered to have a psychological evaluation.  I also got it scheduled for the soonest they had.  After 7 weeks, I had EVERYTHING completed, and I got my daughter back.  DHR has since then found out that the person who reported me was lieing.  My daughter was taken away with no proof of any kind of abuse.  If you've had 15 months, and you haven't gotten your kids back, then I don't think you deserve them back.  You should have gotten everything done within the first couple of months.  Why do you ask how to act with your kids in front of the worker?  Do you not know how to be a mother on your own?  You shouldn't have to "ACT" anyway.  Being a mother comes natural.  If your oldest son has turned against you, then he probably has a good reason for doing so.  Don't blame the foster parents.  It sounds to me like your kids need to be adopted out because it doesn't seem like you know how to be a mother.

Answer 7

Um...what did you do that would make them think you phycically abused your children? Be honest with your kids and talk to them. I guess you have to prove you are a good parent

Answer 8

If you live in the US, they want an adoption to occur because they will get a bonus from the federal government for the adoption.  How do you spell "Christmas Bonus" in their paycheck?? They do not care whether the claims are lies or not.  They only want to place kids so they can get the payoffs from the feds.

You will need to do exactly what the SW tells you to do.  Your only hope is to get a good lawyer and to play their game.  Go to every counseling session and visitation and never ever show disrespect or anger to the all powerful SW.

Answer 9

You can't say anything.  You have to take the steps that they have told you to take.  I am sure that they said that you have to attend parenting classes.  Have you?  What have you done in the past 15 months to prove to them that you are capable of taking care of your children?  If you have just pissed away the last 15 months continuing to do what ever you did when they removed the children then you have no chance in h**l of having them returned.  How do you act when you have visitation with the children.  Do you interact with them.  Do you put their needs ahead of yours or is it you cry and tell them it isn't fair that they took them.  Do you pass the responsibility of the removal of your children to others.  From your comment (physical abuse they claim) it seems that you are not willing to accept any responsibility for the removal of your children.  CPS does not just go in and snatch kids for no reason.  Believe me I have tried numerous times to have my sisters kids removed.  There had to be some factual proof in their claim.  Until you are willing to accept responsibility for what you did or did not do to hurt or protect them then you are not ready to get them back.

Answer 10

i dont think the foster parents would be able to turn a son against an honest, loving parent, no matter how rich, nice, or generous they are. Take a hard look at yourself and see if deep down inside you know you abused your children. If you know you havent, i pray that you get them back.

Answer 11

I agree with take. What reason do they have to say that there was physical abuse. Not tring to say that there was bc I dont what has happen, but maybe you need to sit down and think about what has happen. Sit and down talk to someone about this. Hope that things go well. Really there is nothing you can say. Just tell them the truth. Good Luck.

Answer 12

Taking pro-active steps, such as signing up for parenting classes, can go a long way to show you are ready to become the parent that your children need.

Don't be afraid to tell your kids how much you love and miss them.

Answer 13

if you have to ask us how to act with your kids then maybe you should leave them where they are. are you doing ok ?

Answer 14

I know they gave you a list of things to accomplish...one of which might have been parents classes. And if they gave you visitation, don't miss any or shorten any.  do whatever they tell you.  But there is nothing you can say to anyone to get them back.  Your actions and what you do in life speaks louder. If you have accomplished nothing then your time is running out.

Answer 15

If you have not abused your kids, then you won't need to put up a front for the visitation worker. 15 months is a long time for them to be in foster care and you're just now coming up with a strategy to get them back?

Answer 16

How many children do you have that have been taken away?  How old is the oldest?  Why doesn't he want to come back?

Due to the fact that I grew up in an abusive home, I am wondering why you feel that you need to act a certain way around the social worker.  Acting like a happy family is a classic abusive home.

I hope for the sake of your children that you can do what is best for them.  Don't worry about pride or what people will think.  Is it better for them to be in the foster home?  Can you provide a safe and loving home for them?  I am not saying anything about money because money is far far down the line.  What I am saying is this:  The children need to be where they are safe from hurt and harm.  You may love them, but you may need parenting classes or anger management classes.

Too many times we see children sent back too soon to their parents and the children end up beaten to death.  

I am not saying that this will happen to you.  What I am saying is get some help so that it will not happen to you.  Follow the guidelines that they have set up.  Be honest and be yourself.  For the sake of your children, Honesty is the best policy.

Answer 17

Well, it's not the case worker to say whether you get them back or not, it's the Judge!  What is your case plan, you didn't mention.  Have you done all of what the Judge has asked or not?  And although there are some cases, being a foster parent...it's hard for me to believe that the foster parents turned your son against you.  It's amazing what and how children adjust to a situation that they are in.  You also never did say what the physical abuse was and on who?  An investigation had to have been done for CPS to take these children.  I suggest that you do everything that the Judge states, don't miss ANY visits and if you are for some reason being "drug tested", make sure all of your test are negative and don't miss any, because here that means an automatic positive.  Just make sure that you are doing what is asked and  possibly more...as meaningless as you might think it is!  The case plan is just that...good luck!

Answer 18

Get a good lawyer and try to get more visitaion with your children. Your children are just hurt right now with what they have had to go through. Most foster parents don't want to adopt they lose to much money, When they adopt they didn't get as much help in supporting the children.

your children will forgive what happen to them but it will take time. And for sure if you get them back make real sure you don't do anything else to have cps called for these children )gift from god) don't need to go through this again. May god bless you and your children