Crash course on "difficult" people skills?

Question

I absolutely love my job, just not so sure about the folks I have to work alongside. I thought it was me. How could one person have so much trouble with so many different people? After six months of trying to be sensitive to everyone and their idiosyncrasies, All I know is that this one is sensitive. This one needs their hand held through an entire project. This one needs daily kudos. This one works well without any interference. I could use some serious people skills and fast! Any suggestions? Please don't tell me to ignore it and do my job. Only a robot could do so. I have about 40 subordinates, three peers and one boss. The pendulum swings from everything is a competition, confrontation, or battle to another who just wants to please everyone. Aaargh!

Answer 1

read the books  "the fish philosophy" and 'The difference maker".  they are both short reads and should help you immensley.  good luck.

Answer 2

Welcome to the real world - I know that sounds trite, but your situation is exactly what most people deal with every day.  

First off, don't take things too personally and don't become too heavily invested in "pleasing everyone".  You can have a pleasant, agreeable demeanor and still get your point across.  

As a supervisor, have you spoken to each person regarding their expectations of the job and of you.  And have you communicated effectively regarding your perspective, corporate goals for your office and observations.  Communication is the absolute key to success from any manager.  

Always be polite, professional and productive.  Keep your own tasks at hand and within sight and be careful to not micro manage.

Good luck...

Answer 3

Crash course is understanding their personalities, and speaking appropriately to them - sounds easy enough right?  But it's more than a crash course.  You need to understand personal behaviors and how to communicate effectively w/them so they respond to you the way you want. It's kinda of manipulations.  But you and everyone around you will be better for it.  I would recommend learning the DISC profile, a good book and easy read for this is; I'm Stuck, You're Stuck: Breakthrough to Better Work Relationships and Results by Discovering your DiSC Behavioral Style by Tom Ritchey.  This book lets you understand people, how to communicate w/them based on their Behavioral Style.  You mentioned you have 40 subordinates, so you need to make it clear to them what your expectations of them are, and since your their boss you should understand part of your responsibility is to help them grow professionally.  I think once you read this book (you can do it in a day if you want), you will know how to get what you want from your employees. I don't know the work environment your in, but you may also want to consider having them read this book as well.  I used this as a tool to build my Team, and develop us as a group, as we would understand each others style we were better equipped to communicate w/each other.  We did small exercise as groups, as we worked our way through the book. If you can incorporate something like this you will find the results very rewarding.  Even if you can't do this as a group (if you do you should read it first), you will find it a wonderful tool for you to communicate w/anyone.  As I mentioned early, make sure they understand you, what you expect of them, and what your management style is so they can better respond to you.  You may also want to consider some one on one time w/your more difficult employees, and tell them this issues you have w/their performance but make sure you have a resolution, tell them what they can do fix the problems, make the meeting about developing them rather than scolding them and they will receive what you have to say rather than getting defensive.  Based on your post I gather you have been at this compamy for very long, it  does take time to adjust, you have a lot under you, but it's important you understand how to manage them, it may require more time w/them for now to get things going, your team is a reflection of you and how well you can manage them, the results they produce is a direct response to your management style.  You may be thinking I don't have time to work with 40 people individually, but it's important you do spend time w/them.  So reevaluate your time management, you may need to just do some 15 min group meeting in the morning or once a week.  If you plan and stay on target with the time you spend you'll find you can do it. I could be wrong but when I read your post I get a sense of urgency, and that's why I say to manage your time well, stick to the allotted times you have for meetings, or projects you work on when the time is up go to the next thing. If you allot an hour for a meeting don't let it go over, check the clock when an hours is almost up if there are still things that need to be covered, note it for the next meeting.  All in all the more you understand your people and the more they understand you things will get rolling better than you can think right now.  If employees aren't meeting your expectations, you need to follow up on them, cover it once, you may need to move to corrective actions/counseling, and if they still can't improve termination.  But if they understand what your expectations are and how you expect them to perform then they can be held accountable for their actions.  But give this book a shot, develop your people and you'll have a happy team.

HR Manager