Crazy MONSTER in law issues...HELP?!?

Question

So, I just got married two months ago. My husband is in the service, and I agreed to stay here and there with his parents while he's gone. Well, my mother inlaw has all kinds of drama in her life which alot of it is really sad...and, I feel for her alot. I go out of my way to make her feel better and when I think everything is ok, there is ALWAYS something wrong with her. Alot of her stuff, like recently, was a nervous breakdown- but, shes better from all of it, not working anymore and is ok. Well, shes emotional because her son is her only son and he experienced alot with her as well, but he's not so much of a basket case. She likes to over analyze too much, she likes to out of no where just be rude and selfish, which most of it I understand is because of her past..

well, there came a day when I got to talk to my husband a little longer than she did...she got all mad at me, as if I was being selfish and all- so, it ended up in an argument that shook us both up pretty bad. I left and didnt see her for two weeks, but I came back and felt better. When I thought it was all fine, My husband was finally able to call me and I got excited- but, what killed it all was that he talked to his mom first and she was saying all kinds of stuff that "I dont spend enough time with her, that I dont like to be around her, that I am 'cold' to her" WTH man, I dont get it- I try and try, and she just distorts stuff around. I want to tell my husband that she's driving me crazy, and I know that if she interferes with our life, its not going to work and thats the LAST thing I NEED! But, he is so close to his mom and worries about her alot, so its a very sensative situation. I dont know what to do- now, shes starting some other drama by calling my mom and saying there are a few ''little things" she needs to talk about. She doesnt realize that shes stressing me out alot, and its pushing me to the point where im really starting to NOT stand her. I wish I could just be formal with her, but I cant because she'll take it wrong and will complain to everyone, putting me in a bad situation. It sucks because I love her too, but she isnt helping this. Im almost to the point where I just dont want to have anything to do with her- but, I know it will complicate things too much for everbody. I need help, guys- Im at a breaking point, and I want my marriage to work. I just cant take it anymore.

ps, shes jealous, OVER sensative, hurtful, Overanalyzes too much, is so hateful and is always SO negative to the point where all I do is feel depressed around her, she cusses so much for no reason, and she has her own issues that hurts people who love her around her, including her husband. She woke me up in the middle of the night just to tell me she wanted to leave him(which, she didnt after all) and put me in the most awkward situation ever.

HELP!

Answer 1

i can tell y no ones ansered this. its a little long, but, tell you what, if i anser this, will u anser my question? plz? i reelly need help. okay, here goes. im only a 13 year old kid, but from what i added up, it seems ur pretty desprate. hopefully desperate enuff to try wat im about to tell u. dont try it before sitting down and talking with her first, you no, open up and stuff. if that doesnt work, and ur reelly desperate, then try this: have a kid with the guy. told u it was desperate. i no it doent sound like something ud like to do very much, at least not now probably, but if u wana keep this marriege up, u gotta complicate things complicated. she cant leev the kid alone wit one parent,and shell probably think hes reelly cute. shell b overwelmed, and therell b nothing she can do. desperate times call for desperate measures. now can u plz anser my question? ur a grl, rite? so plz go to the question "what does a guy have to do to woo a grl?" plz, ygotta help me. Thanks!

Answer 2

Does she have a PC?

You might want her to read this question.

It was not written to her but it would show her that you love her.

That you love her son.

That you do not want to come between her and her son.

That you are good to her even when she is not grateful or responsive to your being there for her.

I know you are not looking for her gratitude, but everyone has an appreciation switch.

Hers seems to be selfishly and counterproductive-ly set to off.

Her self absorbed pity party is pushing those who love her away.

Yes the anorexic personality is self destructive and has so many aspects that do not encourage a healthy  self image.

Guilt and self loathing are not caused by the people in her life.

Self pity is unattractive.

Being mean to her son's wife is worse.

In her sons eyes she can be the wonderful mom who loves him and his wife, or the shrew that pushes everyone who loves her away.

Maybe send the question you ask here to your hubby where he is.

If they have a lot of PCs for email.

Let him read the question and see if he thinks you should let your mother in law read it.

It will let him know what is going on without you having to to complain  to him about her.

She is doing enough with her words against his wife to upset him.

If he sees what you asked and how compassionate and devoted to both of them you are, he might have better foundation of truth to work with / from when talking to his mom.

He won't have to chose between his mom and his wife if you are sure to never put him in the situation.

Ask his advice.

But don't stoop to her back biting ways.  

You have to be proud of yourself and the love you have and are showing her, even when she does not acknowledge it.

It will make your hubby proud of you as well.

Good luck.

I am proud of you. You have many honorable printable s.   Pixell